The Boiling Man

There was a time when I fell so hard on my knees and I was only 17 when I wrote this. Years later, it's still taunting me, even in my sleep.

 

Shh, Listen...   There's A Man...   Playing An Unusual Violin...

 

With The Strings That Are The Nerves...   And The Veins...   From His Own Arms...

 

How Wonderous The Sounds...   Of The Agonies Made...   By The Slicing And Dicing...

 

Down With The Lambs...   Up With The Larks...

 

Run To The Beds, Children...   Before It Gets Dark...

 

Around, Around The Sun We Go...   As The Moon Goes Around Us...

 

While The Parts Of Us Are Dying...   In The Slow And The Painful Ways...

 

We Do Not Die Of Death...   We Die Of The Vertigo...

 

Run, Dying Breeds, Run...   Like There's No Time...   And No Tomorrow...

 

Yet, We're All Still Gonna Die One Way...   Or Another...   No Matter What...

 

And I Just Saw The Dead...   Small And Great...  Stand Before The God...

 

I Witnessed The Blood Of The Christ...   Dripping On All Of Their Skins...

 

This Is Just Another Altar...   Inside The Church...   Of The Fears And The Pains...

 

Now, I Know Why Jesus Wept...

 

Author's Note

This writing was inspired by James O'Barr, the creator of "The Crow"... (Thanks, James)

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

This i found to be a unique read. It's different format cause my mind to spin around alot like the images that you presented.
I liked how it was heart felt. The feelings of dispare and helplessness, seemed to fling out like and open blender.
Good read!
Thanks for sharing!

[E.L.C.]

I really liked how this piece started, it had such vivid imagery.

There's A Man... Playing An Unusual Violin...
With The Strings That Are The Nerves... And The Veins... From His Own Arms...
Oh, How Wonder The Sounds... Of The Agonies Made... By The Slicing And Dicing...

Love, that part. But I felt the poem got a little scattered after that. You shifted your focus without bringing all the parts together. You abandoned your original images, and I felt that they lost a lot of their impact. The last half of the poem just focused on death and suffering, but it lacked substance. What does death feel like? the taste, the air, the smell? What happened to all that imagery you were using before. I find too many people are too blunt with their words (which can be effective when used wisely). But poetry is so much more powerful when you are plunging an picture, or a scene into someone's skull rather than just words.

The closing line was very powerful, but i felt out of place with the rest of the piece. I can see the layers of this poem, i think they just need to be woven a little more smoothly. Vague images to blunt wording is a harsh transition.

I think it is funny, having read your critique of my poem, and then reading this piece. This is a very simplistic style of poetry, just presented in a different manner. But I love simplistic poetry, it is so much harder for it to be perfect.

[Barbara Walker]

THE FORM OF POETRY USED REALLY DID YOUR WRITING JUSTICE! THIS IS SUCH A STRONG, POWERFUL PIECE, I REALLY ENJOYED READING IT, THOUGH IT IS QUITE SAD. I DON'T KNOW JAMES O'BARR, BUT YOUR POEM MAKES ME WANT TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HIM. BARBARA

[victoria]

very powerful, very morbid.
i can feel the underlying hopelessness in the narrator's tone, and what seems to be his desire to show off something he sees as beautifully horrid and terrible.
it's somewhat satirical and hypocritical of the human race. like the world is just that altar for us to keep sacrificing ourselves upon and, in the end, we'll end up nowhere.
very good writing. the triple-dot punctuation stops the emotion at just the right time so that you can reinstate it even more powerfully in the next set of words.

[Star-Runner]

I think this is a very beautiful write here, I enjoyed this alot and truth in it as well. Nice write enjoyed.

[Burr the Story Sorceres..]

I think is is lovely. You paint very intence pictures with your words. I enjoyed reading this very much.
Thank you very much for sharing. Danke schon! (thank you very much in German)

[Aries]

Awesome Imagery...Intense...Unique....Great Writing~

[Choosing Life]

There is agony in this piece.
The haunting of the pain of life...

I think you captured so many different aspects of life and spirit.

I am not familiar with James O'Barr but this piece makes me want to understand how he inspired this.

[Sally Edwards]

Wow, what powerful thoughts and words from someone so young, very dark and haunting, I found myself reading it a couple of times before reviewing. Excellent work

[Cassandra]

I think this is fantastic. I think it is amazing that you were .. 17 .. when you wrote this ?!
Not only is it full of eerie and powerful images "Run, dying breeds, run" The way you wrote this technically helps along the strength of this piece. The ellipses create a stringing of images.. I love your choice of words and the alliteration 'down with the lambs.. with the larks'. And I don't know if it was intentional but the "d" sounds in many of the words really make this more pounding. I think this was very well done.

[Adel Eyes]

The technical lay gave it a different rythemic read.
It is written from a strong masculine point of view.
Very nice imagery.
nice work thanks for sharing