my apology

Okay this is a little depressing... but its my apology... one i needed to get out of my head and onto something material

so heres my apology

my apology to everyones whose life ive touched

yes even including that constant reflection staring mockingly back at me

more and more relentlessly as the days go

by

and by

and by

 

lets start with

dear mom and dad (and most of this probably applies to my lil sis too)

heres my apology

so long over due

lets start with sorry i couldnt be the daughter i was suppose to be

sorry i shattered your hopes

your dreams

and depth

perceptions of who i was

going to be

sorry i do drugs

sleep too much

cut myself

lie

cheat and steal

sorry im just another pretty face

sorry dad

but you ruined my child hood

sorry what i remember most is the drunken nights

when you hit  mom

and mom

im sorry you couldnt see hwo fucked up it was that we sat in a car til 2am

spying on the father that we just couldnt get to come home

sorry mom

that i went kinda crazy

and you cared more about the scars id have to hide

than me just being okay

 

so heres my apology

and im so sick of sayin sorry

and im not even half way through

 

sorry to everyone i ever hurt

the hearts i broke

the lies and misstrust

sorry i cant be faithful

and yes

ive chose dope over a few of you

sorry im not strong enough to stick it out in the end

 

im gettin so sick of feeling sorry all the time

 

i constantly catch my

reflection

catchin me off guard

 

and anymore

these days

i wanna smash me head in

watch the blood begin to drain

i wanna watch my own brains push forth from my skull

 

heres my final apology

the the baby i just lost

and the mother i never go to be to you

im sorry

but i think youve destroyed me

i think i died with you

im sorry i couldnt hold you

never question my love for you

 

im sorry

 

im really f*****g sorry

Reviews

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

wow thats was so strong and honest poem ! Yos