Beyond my wall (another excerpt)

Girl and her mother are mysteriously distant even though they live in the same home

I use to always be afraid, afraid if a car passed by me too fast, the slightest sound when I'm alone or even the touch of fingers I wasn't familiar with, then I met someone more frightening, my mother, and my old fears disappeared.

“she’s very bright, but she needs to be more vocal” they would say tell my mother on report days, a sentence, probably discussed in staff rooms, not with concerned eyes, but with amusement, fascination around their eyelids and laughter around the lips, obviously to them I was strange. 

I would just look and so would my mother. I was never sure about her, her expression still and a slight, tight-lipped smile that bore neither hurt nor happiness.

I was never sure what she was thinking while we walked in complete silence, staring at everything and I am always afraid to look at her, for my mind would be uneasy for days. We were strangers, always strangers. I didn't know of a father or a sibling roaming around the small island; but what I know is that she is a small slender woman with eyes so bright and haunting that they scared me. 

They seemed to always be searching for something I could never find, but I doubt she could as well.

Her lips barely uttered words and her voice was small and timid like her frame. We were the same thoughtful, silent persons, which made a little afraid to share any commonalities.  

We live in the same house, eat the same food but we are never together. Every evening we sit around the small table with only two chairs (for we hardly have guests) and eat under the lamp. The light would dance about her face as she ate in tiny bites, swallowing in such a way as though the food couldn't move past her throat. 

I would gaze discreetly under my lids wanting to say something, but afraid the words wouldn't come out right. Instead I would eat the carefully and neatly prepared food, later I would take up my plate and cautiously place it in the sink, excusing myself with a mumbled “excuse me”. She never replied.

I would carefully lay out my uniform for the next day, instructions I overheard from my neighbour, I got all my instructions from her, pressing my ear against the warm boards, listening to the feet against the old boards. I heard their quarrels and the sounds of loving under their small board home. 

Once I woke up from a nightmare, shivering under the blanket in the cold hills, there was a voice beyond my wall to soothe and cam me, a voice I couldn't place, a hushed sound dared not to be raised, so calm and reassuring and strange was the voice of the other children’s mother, just in time when I woke up.

I sat watching the flickering of the flame and the shadows it made in my room. The sounds beyond my wall were alive. I listened to the silent washing of the dishes, the soils and stains I left behind without even waiting for her. I could just see her slender arms, sleeves rolled slightly above her elbows and the fresh pine smell of soap.

 Her face is twitching because the smell tickles her nose, but she won’t stop until everything is clean, then she will wipe her nose with relief and walk slowly to her room and sigh, closing her eyes with the just the intention of resting for a minute

but some mornings I would pass her room and her sleeves would still be rolled above her elbows and the faded apron still tight around her waist.

Author's Note

Here is another excerpt of Beyond my walls. Trying so hard to turn it into a novel. Please read and give feedback. send me a read review if you would like me to do the same. Thank you

Reviews

[Patricia]

Beautifully written, very descriptive so easily to picture and feel it. You are very talented. :)))

[Misha864]

Yeah, that's very nice, you can make a pleasant novel to read;)To my mind, you have the object - this little poor suffering girl and the subject - her relationships with her mother. :)) i think you need just to create a situation, flavor it with some dialogs and its going to get great reviews;)
Good luck!