Consciousness 5: A Sudden Realization of Great Truth

As lay here in the dark, I remember a time in my life. It was one of the most interesting times because other than the fact that it was my first time getting “high”, it was the time I felt something grand in my life. There were many things that were running through my life at the time. I was going through family crisis, my spirituality was off, I was confused of life on many levels, and I wasn’t able to solve my problems properly. I’ve come to try and help people in their needs, but eventually no one was appreciating the help I provided, having solved their problems for them.

I guess you can say it began when my father had been incarcerated for assaulting my mother, nevertheless I was pretty distraught about it, and my case of depression led to a more drastic exposure of it. I was depressed and had absolutely not why way letting out my pain, having held in everything for who knows how long. Of course, there were previous factors that affect my thoughts during the time, it wasn’t just that, but I think that’s when it all began really; all the fighting I did, all the painful memories, the relationships with woman, and friends that I had lost, all of it that was simply exposing to any extent. Other than that, I guess you can say I was decent child.

I remember that I had gotten a call from one of my friends, whom I have come to believe is studying to be a priest for a quite traumatic experience that he had with the abuse of drugs and a lost friend on his case, and as the phone call ended, I ended up visiting him for the evening. His name was Jorge, but we called him Meme (pronounced meh-meh), and he was indeed a good friend. I had met him through the church study group that I had mentioned before in Consciousness 1, and 2. He was a really good friend. He taught me many things in life; things like staying positive and happiness, while I taught him the government agenda and all of that. Come to think of it, I just got a slap in the face as I’m writing this new peace because I just realized that it’s connected. The church, my leading to consciousness, it’s all connected, and I hadn’t realized this until I actually paid attention to it. Getting back on track, I can say that I miss the times that I had spent with him. Meme was a really good friend, and though I don’t have any contact with him anymore, I still hear things about his achievements that he’s been doing. Though I don’t agree with the path that he’s chosen, but what matters is that he’s happy now, I assume.

Getting back on subject, when I got there, today seemed different from most times. Normally we’d be in his room playing Xbox, with his cousin Rames, a self-taught historian at the time, just enjoying our time together. Of course, there were other things that we did, but this time was different. This time as I sat there on the couch with Meme, he pulled out small little baggy. On the side I was able to read what it said. Supernova, the Elixir of the Gods. This was the incense that I had been hearing about at the time, K2 in other words. I had never done any form of narcotic and I was quite scared of being in the presence of it.

“Ok, Renny, here’s what we’re going to do,” Meme said. “We’re going to count stars today.” I didn’t understand what he meant at the time, but I was soon to find out.

“I don’t want to do it,” I said. “What if something happens?”

“Renny, don’t worry,” Meme said, with his eyes glazed. “I’ll take care of you. Just listen to the music as it plays.” He lit up the small pipe that he had been stuffing recently with the small crushed herbs that I found had a pleasant small. He put a small clear drop in the pipe and gave it to me. I wasn’t aware of what that mean, but, out of my innocence, I assumed that it was something that would help the K2 turn on.

“Here man. Unlock the secrets of the universe,” his voice was slurring, and I saw his eyes become red.

“What do you mean?”

“Renny, you were made for greatness, I know it, and I see it. Now smoke it and unlock the secret, because I know you can.”

I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into, but I trusted him. I put the pipe to my mouth and lit. The flavor was unpleasant and the choking that was caused by the smoke really didn’t make it any more enjoyable either. “I don’t feel anything different,” as a few seconds passed.

“Don’t worry, it will hit you.” Meme chuckled. “Unlock the secrets.”

I looked around, everything was fine. I didn’t really see why people enjoyed it if this was what it was like to be high. I got up and walked into his room and just lay down on the bed because I was rather bored of just watching him. When I lay down, Meme walked in and said. “Let the vibrations flow within you.” I didn’t really understand him, as usual, and then it hit me.

I didn’t understand what was happening. Everything around me in his room, his stereo, the dim lights, his bed, everything just pulsed. All of his materials were pulsing to the beat of the psychedelic trance that was playing in the background that Rames was so generous to put on the radio. Then everything was more vibrating, like the colors were standing out more. I was breathing hard and was confused to what was occurring. I knew that this wasn’t the outcome to K2; most people said it was just like weed, but more “trippy”. I’ve done marijuana, but this was more intense. That was when everything stopped. I began breathing harder and harder, as my blood rushed and my emotions were shot. I was struggling to keep in control of my reality, my depressing alteration of realism. I knew I was panicking because of the darkness that was surrounding my eyes, because it was blinding me.

“Just breath, control…you are in control…control…” Meme’s voice echoed in the distance.

I was suddenly in a back void of absolute nothingness. I was floating, no, forming, no…being… The abyss was endless, and infinite. I could see things through my own eyes, this endless shadow, I could feel nothing, and hear nothing, but I felt. I felt the vibrations that Meme was talking about. This deep feeling of sense was relieving to my confusing. I felt…calm…I felt…happy…happy.

I trailed off into a vase. I felt as if I was water in a glass, and all I wanted to do is sit still, and just look around at my surroundings; I wanted to be aware…to be infinitely aware of what was occurring. That’s when the colors began forming. It was spilling out in a geometric pattern that resembled the images of a collide scope from the background of emerald green, and what I felt was much more intense, so intense that it was just almost overwhelming because of how much bliss. I felt so happy just floating there in this endless place I called the Void.

I then began to fall into the shapes, that seemed as if I were to hit them, but I ended up falling even further into this infinite fractal. And when I reached, from what I can tell, the center, I saw that there was some sort of cube, a transparent hypercube, or a cube within a cube. It was so strange just watching this cube transpose within itself and shape of different angles of hexahedrons. There were shining glowing transmissions of gold and silver that emitted from this odd shape, and outer shell contained such a white light milk color membrane that warped with the interior structure.  Along the membrane was a strange shape like a hexagon with all the corners connected together making some sort of connection together.

Then from the depths of the Hypercube, came some sort of being. She, I assumed, was wearing a long white cloak that covered most of her body, but her face. Her eyes were all white. There was no iris or pupil I noticed as she evolved into this being. All that that she took form of was a cloak and head with her gold hair that gleamed gold and sparkled with the contrast of the emerald background. I noticed on her forehead was an eye, but it too didn’t have an iris or pupil, but this one glowed gold as her other eyes gleamed silver. This transparent-like-being was floating there with me with her beauty gleaming deep with her radiating aura of gold.

“I am the One whom you seek,” her voice pulsed through my ears like water rushing gently down a small creek. “I am the Alpha, and I am the Omega as you’ve all concluded me as, though I am only part of this assumption. I am who you seek, as I am the One seeking you.”

“Who are you?” I asked confusedly.

“Dear child,” she grinned gently as she moved my hair from my forehead. “I am you; I am all; and I am then, and I am none.” She touched my forehead with her finger, and then a white light came from such a touch that had me in shock I fell back, only to be caught in this Being’s arms, that felt of water and soothing tranquility.

My vision was shot again, but this time by white, then it was still again. I saw myself, only in the transparently gleam that was like the Being. My eyes were green, as my entire transparent being. I didn’t know what to make of it. It also had the third eye on its forehead. “This is you, your spirit, and your essence.” The buttery voice whispered into my ear. “You are the Alpha, and you are the Omega, as I am towards humanity.”  The being swirled around the transparent version of me and put her hands on its shoulders. “What do you want to know?”

I assumed she noticed my face of curiosity of what was occurring. “Show me what you know.”

She smiled and then a blinding light was held throughout the Void. Then large golden wings enveloped me with such warmth as I feel down a soon hue changing gold to cobalt blue. As I fell down peacefully with my transparent self, it glanced at me emotionlessly and reached out its hand. In its palm was a hexagon. I then, out of curiosity, stretched out my hand and touched his. A grin then emerged on the beings face, and then…there was silence…