SHALLOW POOLS

I left unfinished loves
at some table,
in some coffee shop
and found new ones
in some random pubs
the lengths of love
some aphoristic,
some lingering in linguistics
placation's in gentle back rubs
visions of Venus
attraction on a whim
bodies entwined
exploring beauty within
form genus-climaxing zenith's
in swims of original sins

half empty it may seem
but I have a cup to measure
shallow in a pool
of physical pleasures
reserved for last calls,
and drunken scenes
stumbling forward on poetic themes

A muse sober and ashamed
empties my cup
and reaps her reward...

Reviews

[Sleepless]

love the ending it really is what life experiences can take part in a writer they just get inspired even if its bad or good and i love what you say in the poem especuiallly the last lines
A muse sober and ashamed
empties my cup
and reaps her reward...

[WhiteWillow]

Love the ending! Great rhythym to this piece, just flows, with no words wasted. Nicely done.

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed this poem. I like the story and the places you took me with your words. Sometime we may land in the wrong place. At least we landed. A strong ending to a excellent poem. I like the poem.
Coyote

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Nice capture, love the title, it is fitting to the whole scene of the poem itself.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Damn stellar!

[Judas Hammer]

top notch--pro style--should be in a chapbook

[Aidz]

Rene everytime I see you have rr'd me I get like, wow this will be great, and to date you have yet to disappoint bravo good sir

[roarke]

This reads much better, a cohesive stream that further's development. Sometimes we include ideas that detract, scatter and not for deliberate effect.
The edited effect here to me is solid. Once we remove distracting elements, we may discover we have another piece to write, with more to say. Nice rewrite Rene.

[Chris]

I liked the end... fitting somehow.

[Emily B]

oh, oh . . . from the delightful rhythms and playful consonance . . . I was hooked by those last three lines