day se7en

life at an angle you never knew existed.

 

Whenever I think of what I want, what I really want, when someone asks me, why, or what. I seem to have the perfect answer, well, to me. I don’t want sadness because it is sadness of course, and I do not want happiness because I believe it is something I will never truly have. I have been seen as an amazing person, oh you’re so strong and I can’t believe you cope so well with what you’ve been through. Though hearing others tell me that I am some form of inspiration for them, I look deep down and tell myself that I am the worst example of how ANYBODY should ever want to be. I am a hideous soul full of red eyed greed, blood thirsty corruption, and I sleep in a blanket of sin, late at night, I dream of the wrong riches in life and fantasize of all the beautiful women passed out on my bed after a forgettable night that is worth nothing more than the dirt I tread on. I believe your soul is only worth as much as you let it be worth, and the value of souls in this day are a dime a dozen, why do I think this way? Why can’t I be happy with what I have? Why can’t I cut my mind open and remove these horrible thoughts and ideas? There are many who wish they had the luck and love I have had, but this is who we are, we don’t realize what we have until it has cried and had its heart broken in our very presence, until it has told you to your sorry eyes that it never wants to see or hear from you again, until you realize that you have broken that persons heart into so many pieces, that they themselves do not know where they go. And so they are left confused, wondering if the next guy will ever be able to help her put the pieces in their rightful spot, while you lay, still, with a piece of that very heart, that she will never be able to give to another, because you decided, once you betrayed her, that you would keep it so you wouldn’t have to feel alone, you pretentious greedy piece of s**t!  Which brings me to another story, of a spicy b***h, who always told you exactly what you did NOT want to hear, everything she said was an innocent stab to the chest, every word and smile she slammed into your memory made sure it never left and it never has… To this day, August 20, 2011, I remember the first time she ever told me she loved me, the first time she told me she hated me, the first time this creative rose emptied those insanely negative, but pure responses into the skull of a mind so complex, even I couldn’t fathom the game she was playing, perfectly she dealt the cards of hope and sexual desire, but once you turned them over, you realized they were worth nothing all along, and so she deals and deals, day after day, and now, she has been dealt, one day she will get hers, I hope she realizes this. She won’t ever be loved by someone like me, ever again. Before she f***s him, I want her to know her idea of life is nothing but a silly puzzle you think you have figured out, but once you stand back and look at it, you’ll realize it looks nothing as you imagined… This is nothing but a dream, I will wake up one day, I hope, so I can finally get back to reality, to my life that I have just began to live, someday I’ll publish this for the world to read, throw away, criticize, burn, hate me for, or to simply get an idea for his or her next poem, please forgive me.

Reviews

[Chelsea.]

I wonder why you think this way. I dont think any person should feel this way, whether its caused by someone else or themself. You mentioned a soul is only as much as you make it worth. Well, if you want to change. do it. Make your soul worth something to you. Constantly putting yourself down isnt going to help anything, it only does more damage to you and those who care for/about you. I think that you care too much about peoples opinions of you. I know its easier said than done, but i think if you could stop doing that so much you would be happier with yourself and just overall.

[CHRIS ANDES]

well...it's not the end of the world
.keep holdin' on coz that event will mold you to become stronger next time....just be happy that you've seen heer real color!!!1