Laws of the Uri-Nation

Rules and Regulations (ladies)

Laws,Rules and Regulations for the Uri-Nation
          Etiquette of Urinals and Toilets.

 

 

When talking in the Restroom
  A) A man is not permitted to initiate conversations around U/T's
     This includes the Zone of 5 feet in front of U/T's (the Zone)
 

B)  A man may initiate conversation when the other man is finished and his zipper  is completely fastened and out of the Zone.
 

C)Two men that are sharing a car may talk in the restroom if a they can not see each other and no other man is between them, but only in continuous conversation. If they pause for longer than 1 second they must observe conversation initiation rules as stated above.

D) They may talk about: female anatomy, engines,cars, guns, repairs, any item with ridiculous specs,  Male relatives, dogs,  bills, relationship problems, the news, action movies, Macho heros or tell jokes.

E) They may NOT talk about: Their significant other's anatomy, being in love, Female relatives(unless she needed home or car repairs) , dishware (unless pyrex exploded), romantic comedies, how their clothing fits, cats, or how nice the restroom is.

 

IF a man Walks into an empty restroom he may use any urninal he wants:
  A) So long as he uses a U/T on the end
  B) So long as he uses a U/T with an odd number of U/T's on each side
     there must be a U/T between every two men in a bathroom

 

He may not use a U/T with a U/T adjacent to it:
  A) It is an invasion of personal space..even if no other man is present
  B) In the event that only Two U/T's are present there is no violation.
       So long as *Talking in the Restroom* regulations are observed.

 

In the Event A man must use a U/T beside another man:
  A) The man must keep his eyes on the wall directly ahead.
  B) When finished, he must turn his back to the other man and walk away.
  C) He may not look at his "junk". (his own junk)
  D) He has 3 seconds to be completely finished and out of the 5 foot zone after the sound of  the "business" is no longer audible.

 

When Washing hands
  A) The man must use a sink without a U/T directly behind it
  B) IF he must use a sink with a U/T directly behind it, he is not permitted to look into the mirror.
  C) He must follow the same distance rules of U/T's
  D) He may initiate conversation, but is not permitted to make eye contact.
  E) He is at no time permitted to wait for paper towels/hand dryer. He must wash hands until  the paper towels/hand dryer have no other man present, or use his back pockets to dry his hands.                                             

F) If he must look at his nails, he must make a half fist, palm up. He is not permitted to look at is nails if his palm is facing the downward. The opposite hand is not allowed to touch the hand being inspected.

 

When leaving, a man may not open the door for another man

  A) He is not permitted to alter his path while leaving restroom.

  B) The incoming man must yield or step aside.

Any infraction of one or any of these rule may result in injury to the offending male.

Author's Note

Hopefully you understand us more now.

Reviews

[Aube Ralph]

genius...i'm sharing this on my fb page

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

lol..it was all a joke. Stereotypical macho junk.. Its going to be a Monologue.
I guess its kinda dry on paper..

AHAHAHAHAHA, quite an exotic write, interesting set of rules. I have to say though, I highly doubt that men even come close following these rules.

[Undying Glory]

this is certainly unique i think...the rules seemed really unreasonable to me, almost like the rules in a totalitarian nation...pretty interesting