(Sayounara)

"Goodbye"...A poem I wrote right after my grandpa died about a month ago...It's a mixture of my own feelings and the perspectives of my mom, her three sisters and her brother. There are five of them, and for each of them, one stanza. 1. my aunti

The enemy snuck in

And I struck out

It is kind of strange

All of this pain

Lightly coated in doubt

 

Denial is the key

To this unrecognizable face

I'm unable to trace

Your soulless case

Unsure how to pace

My rushing heart

 

I send a silent cry to the heavens

And it's just breaking my heart
I realized that in the end

I couldn't keep you and heaven apart

 

I'm just gushing out words

They're running through like a surge

Please tell me to stop now

I can't help but to cry

Please tell me to stop now

Can't stop these tears from my eyes

I never thought I'd have to say this final goodbye

My head was in the clouds

Where you now reside

 

Inside,

It hurts so much

It hurts to believe

At least now you're free

Risen up on eagles' wings

Up there in the sky

And now I think I'm ready

For this final goodbye

Reviews

[Freedom]

wow. those two opening lines are so powerful. What's interesting is that the power and the syntax of those first two lines are so inconsistent with the rest of the poem. And the whole thing is, of course, really emotional, but it's the fourth stanza that gets to me. That one actually brought tears to my eyes, the part where you say, "I can't help but to cry
Please tell me to stop now
Can't stop these tears from my eyes
I never thought I'd have to say this final goodbye".

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

My heart goes out to you. I lost my son last year, my dad the year before. This is a very nice poem. A wonderful tribute. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[C.T. Bailey]

The sting of death remains long after the passing. I am sorry for your loss and I hope the expression of the pain helps you in the recovery process. I lost my dad two years ago and I have written several poems as a release of that anguish.
Todd