Someone to Talk To

I never thought being left with my thoughts,

Could make me act so cautious, nauseous,

Trembling at the very thought of, STOP IT

My mind interjects and rejects like vomit,

Causes fear in loss of what I hold dear.

Shear force of loneliness brought me here.

Shed a tear when my entire world leans,

About 60 degrees and falls to its knees.

My entire life is breaking, changing,

Respirating, something I forgot how to do.

My entire world is about to be new.

Lost deep within my keep,

Early morning, everyone sleeps,

And I feel like there's no one to talk to.

I'm about to be far from home,

Hardly alone but it feels unknown.

Not sure where to lay my foot down,

Walking is strange on foreign ground.

Like I need to retrain myself how to walk,

Talk, and hold above water to never stop

Swimming, lights dimming, am I sinning?

Making a choice to leave the nest,

Is this really what could be best?

In terms of options, yes.

I'll be with my friends who support me, 

Sort me out but I may never find out,

The answers to questions that make me shout,

I never really thought about it critically.

Laying out my options evenly,

Some will look and say its plain to see.

And I know that's a stretch but have faith in me.

But should you really?

The faith I have in myself is shoddy at best.

And I put it to the test daily.

I walk a fine line between life and lazy.

There's so much I should be, could be, would be doing,

If I wasn't so afraid of being alone.

So here I am: 

Ranting and "I can't"-ing to the point where it, 

Really should be unhealthy.

But I remain stealthy. 

Venting my frustrations on a medium nobody knew.

Only showing it to the select few.

Because maybe they will know what to do.