Captivation

 

Immensely allureing,

Captivating me quickly,

Without so much as a second to breathe before rash decisions were made,

Acting on impulse, as I always will, impulsivness being in my nature.

Decisions that just might detirmine the person I am to become; That could change not one, but two lives to the point of ultimate reinvention.

Negative qualities that cancel eachother out, phenominal qualities that compliment eachother.

A set of eyes I can hardly remember, but it won't be long before I can embrace a perfect-by-opinion stare once again.

The bruised and broken underlayer I could sniff out from the first line I heard spoken by the new object of my affection,

A line I cannot recollect, but the bruises and scars that my intuition allowed me to become aware of, I can relive at any given moment.

Reading a voice, analyzing a being without consciously doing so,

Seeing past what is openly portrayed by such a lost, wandering soul,

The type of person who can bring me to tears with such strong, invading emotions.

I wish to be certin, but only time will tell.

I hold my doubts, with intentions of not becomming disabilitatingly crippled in stand-by yet again.

Thoughts conflicting with emotions, as it always is within my mess of a self.

I long for a physical closeness that spoken words from thousands of miles away could never supply.

Time is in a way on my side, yet in a way, against me in such an evil, spitefull manner.

I cannot help but wonder my new objects intentions; cannot detirmine if I have finally found something real.

That being the only thing I've ever wanted, I feel nausous at the thought of my hopes being crushed.

Too mentally unstable and dependant upon whoever it is at that point in my life to focuss on anything other than the love factor, I suffer an abundance of spiraling, confusing little wonders.

Relishing for that day to come, when contact will be the only thing that remains on my mind.

The sick, twisted feeling in the pit of my stomach is too strong to be defeated by myself, alone;

This cannot be achieved without the help of the one I hold high hopes for.

Sheepishly gazeing at the ground, suffering from many questions to which honest answers I'll not soon know for certin, I try to control the demons who thrive within my mind, makeing it hard for me to zero in on details I am surely missing.

Where was this connection made, and by who, at first, was it initiated?

Is fate planned? And if so, what would be the point in punishing one from their mistakes?

Are we really just puppets with strings attached, or free spirits to make our own decisions?

Are outcomes fated ahead of time, or are there really several roads to choose from?

Impulse, I'm sure, will take over, demanding that I question the situation in the face of such a beautiful person in my eyes.

If I get what I wish, which my gut is assureing me that I will, I will surely take it upon myself to give back to the world in as many ways as I am capable of.

Maybe karma will befriend me, and I'll have much better luck from there on out.

Author's Note

Tell me, in detail, what you think this is about.