My will's my only friend.

A Poem by Mandy

I hardly ever strech the truth,
But when I must, I'll hide the proof,
Supress reaction long enough until it disapears,
Or it could just keep on growing,
Burst out at random without my knowing,
Supression of depression side effect's amoung my fears,
So I'll lock it all up deeper in the back of my mind,
Just to prove that concept wrong, I'll let it build and still be fine,
But when you're at your breaking point, you'll only wanna push rewind,
And find, find out when and where and how you lost your mind.
See, I'm a kid of hard and wrong earned bliss,
I'll suck my victims dry, then leave a good-night kiss,
But when alone at night, I let the tears fall down,
I keep these moments to myself, and try not to make a sound,
It's getting hard to hide the pain of living with regret,
The repitious memories of given/taken threats,
I wear my clothes like a coat of wool, but it's always chilly inside,
I try to shut off the voice in my head, and blindly enjoy the ride,
After all, isn't that what any self-respecting pessimist would do?
He wouldn't leave his battle unfought, he'd ignorantly follow through,
Yeah, the battles within in us, worse than the ones in our physical lives,
Yeah, the battles that win us, stabbing like a dozon knives, (straight to the heart),
It's funny, everyone around me seems so full of sunshine,
But I'm starting to think all minds are as fucked up as mine,
Maybe the world's just good at hideing, and playing pretend,
All I know is this - my will's my only friend.