IMPULSE.

There's only one "chapter", it's split up into smaller sections for now. I NEED PLENTY OF FEEDBACK!

 

Thursday, April.24th, 2008.

"Carmen Distracia was not crazy".
"Then tell me, Marley...what exactly was she?"
"She was just a normal girl! I mean, yeah, she had alot of problems...but I knew Carmen! She would never do something like that!"
"Well apparently, she did".
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"
"Do not raise your voice with me, Marley! It's normal to not want to face harsh reality, and I know it only feels right to make excuses for your friend, but Carmen was sick, and if you're ever going to mentally heal, you're going to have to face that she did what she did."
Marley's eyes filled with tears and her voice shook. "Ignorance will make you belive anything that seems logical. You're just like everyone else, too blind and close minded to see any other possibilities. I knew that girl better than she knew herself. And I seem to be the only one who belives the truth..."
Marley exited Dr.Charolette's office in disapointment that was made apparent with the slamming of the door. The drive home felt empty, the soft rain matching the mood. Grey clouds filled the April sky, and a thick fog made it difficult to see down the road. Ever since her soul sister Carmen had been unfairly locked away in a psych ward a few hours away, Marley felt a huge void within her that she could distinctly feel at all times. There was no escapeing it, not even in her sleep. The feeling was so overwhelming, she had been considering that life may not even be worth it any more. And the stress of everyone blameing innocent Carmen wasen't helping. It had been 3 months since the horrible incident, and rather than healing, each day just brought her more agony. "S**t!" Marley violently swerved to avoid a semi that was comming head on. She'd been so distracted by all the torturous memories, she haden't been paying attention to the road. Her cell started to ring just as she straightened herself back out. "N'hello?" "Yeah, Mar? It's Stacy.." Marley instantly grew furious. "What the f**k do you want now? Is it possible that you could have come up with anything more to further my pain? Have you not done enough?" She began to increase her speed as she waited for a reply. "Look, I'm sorry for getting your friend locked away, but you know damn well if I haden't fought that case, Carmen would still be living amoung us, and the whole town would be in danger. I just wanted to make ammen-" "Excuse me?! Living amoung us? Put us in danger? What, do you think she was some kind of animal or something? Don't you ever f*****g call me again, this is all your fault! Damn, you should be the one locked up for ruining the life of someone so careing, so perfect...you..you f*****g b***h!" With that, the phone call ended, and Marley's drive way came into view.

*3 months ago* Saterday, January.19th, 2008.

"Do you belive in paranormal activity?" Carmen's eyes had seemed so sincer with that question. "I'm not sure. I've never really given it much thought. Why?" The question intrigued Marley. "I'm not sure if I should tell you.. You might think I'm crazy." Carmen stared straight at the setting sun as the waves crashed around their little wooden boat, her eyes fixed on the swirling purple and pink that was fadeing into black. "You know I would never think you're crazy. I know everything about you. How could this be any worse? You've been acting different lately, and I'd really like to know why..so could you fill me in?" Marley has always been trustworthy, but still Carmen was hesitant. "Alright.. Well, it's just that some really..strange things have been happening to me lately. Nothing that would sound worth a worry, but it all just feels very..frightening.." Carmen found it hard to continue to speak of her troubles. "Go on, Car. You can tell me absolutly anything. We're blood sisters, remember? You're in me, and I'm in you. I'll always side with you, no matter what. You're my number one.." Marley's reassurence releived alot of Carmen's tension, and she continued. "I've been feeling things. Seeing things. Getting strange urges. I was never one to belive in anything less than logical, and you'd be one to know that. But it's hard to deny it when I'm living it out. I keep trying to tell myself it's all in my head, but..some how, it just keeps getting worse and worse every day.." Marley shifted her position and leaned in a little closer, becomming a little more interested. By now the sun had set, and the cresent moon was shineing directly above them. "When did all this start?" Carmen become flushed and overcome with a tingly sensation. "Come to think of it, the first incident occured about a week ago..last Saterday..right after Bobby passed.." The thought of loseing their classmate brought about a lingering depression. "It was right after his accident. Which you know I think was my fault. About two hour's after we found out about his death, and after I broke down like that, the first unexplainable urge came on. It was right after talking with Bobby's parents. I had been overcome with an intense desire to...." Marley's eyes urged Carmen to continue. "A desire to run out into the middle of trafic and kill myself. I wasen't even depressed. I mean, I was, of course, because of Bobby..but it was something other than being suicidal. Bobby was a great friend of mine, don't get me wrong, but I'd never want to end my life over the ending of his. It was something else. I can't explain it. I controled myself that time, but I'm afraid I won't be able to one of these next times. I want this to stop.." Carmen bust out into tears. "I just want it to go away and stop.." Marley comforted her best friend. "Oh, Carmen. I honestly cannot relate, but I feel your pain, and you know I'm always here for you. Be strong, things will get better.." Carmen pulled away from the hug and stared into Marley's eyes. "That's another thing, Mar...they won't get better. That same intense feeling tells me it won't get better. Not until I'm dead."

*1 week and 2 days ago* Thursday, January.10, 2008.

"...and that about wraps up todays lesson. You all know your assignments. As you know, you won't be comming to class tomorrow, you get an early start on the weekend. Enjoy it, don't party too hard, Monday is very crucial to be wide awake, and you won't want any hangovers during your presentations." The professer began straightening up his podium. "Hell yeah, Professer Franks, you know we're all gonna get trashed just hours before we come present Monday. Party hard, Franks!" The Professer gave Bobby a playful smile. "Very well, do what you will. I just might go out tomorrow night myself. I need a little recreation." Bobby nudged Carmen. "Yeaaaahh, Professer know's how to live when he dosen't have on his professional front. Why don'tcha come chill with us? It'd make ya feel young again! C'mon, you know you wanna." Carmen couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, he's all over that invitation!" Marley gathered her stuff and joined her friends. The Professer headed twards the door. "Nah, I'm probably gonna hit up the Purple Martini. You kids have fun." Bobby, Marley, and Carmen were walking through campus dicussing the weekend when Bobby stopped dead at random and stared at what apeared to be nothing from what the others could see. A look of confusion and concentration spread over his face. Carmen laughed and playfully smacked him. "You okay, Bobby?" He shook his head as if to blow it off. "Yeah, It's cool.."

*Later that night*

"Yeaaahhh, chug it! Chug it! Chug it!" The drunken chants vibrated through the woods. Half of the entire student body was at the bonfire party, and the crowd grew larger with more and more crashers each hour. One of their classmate's was trying the beer bong for the first time, and the sight of him struggling to hold his s**t was more than entertainment for everyone. "Keep it commin', keep it commin', don't stop, keep it commin'!" Just when the last of the beer ran down his throat, he hit the ground. "YEAHHH!!!" Marley rolled her eyes and looked at Carmen. "Can you belive those guys? They'll do anything if it draws attention to them.." Carmen chuckled in agreement. The two of them were only slightly buzzed so far, where as Bobby on the other hand was already done for the night. He couldn't walk straight if he focussed all of his energy into it. "Haha, look at Bobby. What a dumb a*s." Marley jokeingly dissed her friend as she took another shot of tequilla. "I've been looking at Bobby in a different light lately. I dunno, he's just...oddly apealing." Marley's jaw dropped. "Oh God, Car, you've got to be kidding me." She couldn't help but laugh. "Whatever makes ya happy, I guess. I say go for it. That is, if you're really sure.." Carmen half-smiled. "Oh, I'm positive. I've been contemplateing for a few weeks now." Marley's eyes widened. "Damn, Car! You don't tell me anything anymore..what the hell ever, you know I'd be supportive. Now get your a*s over there before he drinks more, or he won't even be able to comprehend that you want him." Carmen squinted. "Want him? Well, when you put it like that..." "Oh, just shut the f**k up and get over there!" Carmen laughed and headed in Bobby's direction. When she got to him, he was surrounded by a group of guys who were fixing to start a game of quarters. "Not trying to interupt your good time or anything, but can I borrow Bobby for a bit?" The guys turned their attention from setting up the game to Carmen, and their body language suggested it was alright. Bobby asked her what she wanted with his facial expression, and she responded by takeing his hand and pulling him into a nearby clearing. "You know, I've been viewing you differently lately." Her eyes naturally turned seductive. A flirtatious smile grew on Bobby's face. "Have you been viewing me differently? Awe, you know, Carmen, that is very cute of you. I think I've viewed you differently lately also. I am seeing you are a very attractive girl. I think I am seeing you in a different way, Carmen Distracia. I am seeing you here. I am." His words all slurred together in a way that Carmen found to be adorable. "So, Bobby Rogers, if you've been thinking these things, why would a confident guy like you not have acted on your desires by now?" Bobby had to catch his balance. "I haven't acted on my desires? Oh, you're right, I haven't acted on my desires. You're right about that, and I think I should do that. You're a really pretty girl. I think we'll be friends for a long time. Do you want to make a benifeit with me? I want to do things with you, my good friend Carmen." Her smile turned into a slight look of confussion. "Bobby, what the hell did you take? I know you haven't only been drinking, I can tell." Bobby strained to keep his vision straight. "Oh, shoot, Carmen, you know I did something, don't you? Of course you do, that's what you said. Oh, I don't know, someone gave me some pill. But Carmen, it feels good, okay, Carmen? So just, don't be mad at me. I want us to still be friends for a long time. I don't want you to hate me, Carmen Distracia." Carmen tried to relax a bit. "Okay, but please promise me you'll never ever take something again unless you know what it is. I care about you. Oh, and about those benifeits.." She slowly made her way tward him, attempting to lock eyes, which was difficult considering his circumstances. "Oh, I promise, Carmen. Never. And yes, about those benifeits.." He reached out and pulled her close to him. "I have wanted to be with you for a very long time, Carmen. I have wanted you, but I never thought maybe you wanted to be." Carmen tried to supress her annoyance of his state of mind, and let out a cute little laugh. They began to passionately make out, which eventually lead to a long session of makeing love out in the open of the clearing, out of sight of the party, but still within earshot. Roughly 15 minutes went by, then the two of them found themselves exuasted and fully satisfied laying in the dead leaves half naked holding each other under the stars, their only source of warmth being each others body heat. "Carmen.." Bobby was no more sober now than he was before their good time. She turned her head so that her eyes could meet his. "I think something that I don't know if I should tell you, but it's hurting me, so I think I'm going to tell you, Carmen." She let out a reassureing sigh. "Go ahead and tell me. If you don't, it will just keep eating at you.." She was only slightly still feeling the effects of her alcohol. "I think I'm in love with you.." Carmen's stomach dropped. She was no good at turning guys down, and she was especially no good at being sensitive to overly-intoxicated people. "Bobby, you're a very good friend of mine. And you're extremely attractive. But I don't exactly view you as the type to get serious with. You're just a friend. But I still love you. As a friend. I'm just not in love with you." Bobby said nothing for several moments. "Why did you mislead me, Carmen? Then why the hell are we laying here like this? Or are you maybe just like a w***e? A stupid s**t. I love you, Carmen, but you hurt me? Why do you do this to me? Why is this, Carmen?" Bobby got up and struggled to get his pants back on, leaveing Carmen laying naked on the ground. She watched him in pain as he stumbled out of sight.

*30 minutes later*

Carmen pushed her way through the drunk crowd until she spotted Marley. The moment she got to her best friend, the tears poured from her sorry eyes. "Mar, I feel horrible!" Marley was almost as intoxicated as Bobby, minus the pill. "Why's that, Car? I'm havein' a blast! I met this guy, and-" Carmen could tell she wasen't able to be serious at the moment, still she attempted anyways. "Marley, now's not the time. Try to sober up a little bit and talk to me, I need my best friend.." Marley tried her hardest to come back to reality. She's usually able to do so in times of need. "Okay, I'm listening, what happened?" Carmen couldn't contain her sobs. "Bobby and I had sex. After we finished, he told me he loved me. He got the wrong idea. And I turned him down. And I could tell he was very hurt.." Marley placed her hand on Carmen's shoulder. "Babe, he's just extra sensitive right now because of what he took. He probably didn't even mean it. I mean, come on..you two have been friends forever. Don't let it eat you up too much, just wait and see how things go between you tomorrow, alright? I promise, it'll be fine. Now go take a few more shots, you're killing my mood!" Carmen wanted to belive her, but she could tell that Bobby had meant what he said. Even so, she did as her friend directed and drank down some more liqour. Just as Carmen started to get back into party mode, a violent yell grabbed her attention, along with everyone elses. "GET THE F**K AWAY! GO AWAY FROM ME! DAMN YOU! YAAAAGGHHH!!!" Bobby was waveing his arms around wildly, tripping over his own feet, and going in circles. He looked absolutly mad. "LEAVE! DAMN YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He fell to the ground and thrust around in the leaves in a fit of insanity. Carmen and Marley watched in disbelief as their friend went mad. He scrambled back to his feet, and Carmen caught a glimpse of terror in his eyes, before he took off into the woods faster than she'd ever seen anyone run. "BOBBY!!" She yelled after him, but her attempts were useless. Within seconds he was out of sight. The tears came back, harder than before. Carmen broke down and dropped to the ground. "What is going on with him? He's been acting really weird, and now he's takeing random drugs and telling me he loves me. Now this? Where the hell is he going? Damn it!" Marley was almost as confused and hurt by all of this as Carmen. "Should we get in the car and go after him? What if something bad happens? Oh, Marley, I'm scared.." Marley offered her hand out to pull Carmen up. "No. We can't drive like this. It's too risky. I'm not risking my life for someone elses. And I'm not letting you, either. Let's set up the tent and get some sleep. Try not to think about it tonight." The two of them sobered up pretty quick after that espisode.

*The next day* Friday, January.11, 2008.

The sun had already been out for hours when Marley opened her eyes. Still half asleep, she could hear footsteps in the leaves outside their tent. Apparently others were already up. She had a horrible headache and felt like she was going to puke. After shakeing Carmen awake, she checked her watch. 1:06pm. Carmen mumbled something about french toast as Marley unzipped their tent to let some sunlight in. "What, you want breakfast or something?" Carmen woke up a little more and just laid there for about a minute. Just as soon as Bobby entered her mind, she shot up. "Oh my god! Bobby! I wonder if he's okay!" Marley had forgotten all about last nights incident, which now all seemed like a blur. Like it wasen't real. "Well, I guess we'll find out soon enough..." The two of them changed and headed to the bathroom stalls to brush their teeth. Most of the others who were awake looked hungover. Alot were pukeing in the stalls. After freshening up a little, they joined a few of their friends at a picnic table. "Has anyone seen or heard from Bobby since he flipped out last night?" Marley reached over and grabbed Carmens wrist under the table as if to prepare for the answer. Her grip tightened as one of the girls spoke. "Nope. I overheard a few people talking about it, though. As far as I know, nobody's seen him." Carmen grew even more worried. "Well, hasen't anyone tried to call his cell?" Another girl turned her attention from her sausage to Carmen. "I did. I'm sure others have. It goes straight to voicemail." Carmen couldn't belive how calm these people sounded. Everything started to spin. Her voice got a little more stern. "Dosen't anyone care at all? What is wrong with you people?" Everyone at the table just shrugged, a few of them gave her looks of sympathy, but that was all. Carmen was going out of her mind with worry. She attempted to call him several times in a row, but each call went straight to voicemail, as she'd been told. The mailbox was even full, so she couldn't leave a message. "I'm going out to look for him. I'll go to his house, and a few other places he might be.." Carmen started to get up and walk away when Marley pulled her back down. "Listen, you didn't do anything wrong. Bobby is fine, that drug just must have messed with him." Carmen gave Marley a look that showed she wasen't buying it. "Seriously, Mar? I honestly doubt that one random pill would do anything close to what we saw happen to Bobby last night. And he was fine before that. Something isn't right about this picture.." Just then, Bobby walked out from behind a big tree. Both Carmen and Marley were overcome with relief, but mostly Carmen. She ran over to him and wrapped her arms around him tighter than she'd hugged anyone in a long time. "Bobby! You're okay! I was so worried!" He didn't hug her back. He didn't say a word. She pulled away from him and looked at him with sympethetic eyes. "Are you mad at me?" He starred at her for a while before responding. "I'm not sure what happened to me last night. I have no idea. I just remember running. And when I woke up this morning, I was in my aparment. I have no clue how I got there. I don't remember anything between you telling me you don't want to be with me, and me running down the highway. Everything else..I just blacked out. And no, I'm not mad at you. I'm just really afraid and confused." Carmen hugged him again. "Bobby, you're one of my best friends. Please see a doctor. You had me worried sick." He showed no expression, and spoke in monotone. "You're one of my best friends, also. I have to go now. I'm gonna work on my presentation." And with that, he up and left. Carmen rejoined Marley and the others at the table. She felt so much better now knowing that he was okay, but still felt mixed up about all the weird things that have been going on.

*That night*

Carmen decided to spend the night with Marley at her apartment. They needed each others support with all the confusion going on. "Are you worried about Bobby at all?" Carmen was laying on the couch stareing at the ceiling. "Of course. But you're worrying too much. He'll be fine. He's just going through a rough patch right now. Classes have him under pressure, and some people don't handle stress as well as most people." Carmen didn't push the subject. They were both mentally and emotionally drained and exuasted, so they decided to call it a night and crash.

*The next morning* Saterday, January.12, 2008.

Carmen naturally woke up around 7am. The instant her mind turned from sleep mode to awake, before even opening her eyes, she was overcome with an intense feeling that something was going to go horribly wrong that day. Something just felt off. More so than it had before. She tried to supress the feeling, but the more she tried to ignore it, the more she felt it. The scent of coffee woke Marley up, and she joined Carmen in the kitchen. "Marley, I know I've been nothing but negative lately, but you have to be with me on this one." Marley started to pour a cup of coffee for each of them. "Shoot." Carmen let out a long sigh. "Something horrible is going to happen today. I can sense it. And I want to prevent it. Or I'll feel responsible. But I don't know what exactly it is, so I don't know what to do." Marley brought the two mugs of coffee to the table and took a seat. "Well, do you at least know what it has to do with?" She was trying hard to be as supportive as she could of her friends seemingly non-sense. "Mar, I feel like I'm the only one who's noticing everything get all weird. It's like you can't even see it." Marley searched her mind for a way to respond. "I really don't notice anything 'getting weird', other than that one freak out Bobby had the other night. But if you do, I'm here for you 100%." Carmen groaned. "But I feel like I'm going insane if you can't see it, also. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I totally don't feel right." Marley reached out across the table and grabbed Carmen's hand. "If you want, you can stay here with me until you get things sorted out." Carmen took notice of her best friend's sincer attempts to help, and openly accepted her offer. "I just don't want to overstay my welcome, so feel free to kick my crazy a*s out at any time." They both laughed.

*6:45pm*

Carmen and Marley had spent the entire day trying to get their minds off everything by getting out of the house and into the world. They went out for lunch, shopped, and saw a movie. By the time they got back to Marley's, they were worn out. Carmen decided to make some nacho's while Marley looked for something good to watch OnDemand. Her intentions were to look for some quality entertainment for the two of them to chill out to, but what she saw while flipping through the channels made her heart skip a few beats. As she passed a news channel, she saw a truck that she vaugely reconised, and when she flipped back just to double check, she realized that it was Bobby's truck. The report was almost over, but from what she heard, the truck had been driven off an overpass, and the driver had died. Marley stared at the screen in shock. She couldn't move. She couldn't think straight. It took a few minutes to set in, and by the time she had fully regestered that Bobby was dead, Carmen walked into the living room with a tray of nacho's. It killed Marley to see Carmen with a smile on, finally happy, and now she had to drop down way further than she had even been in the first place. "What'cha watchin'?" She sat on the couch next to Marley and grabbed a nacho. "You alright, there, Mar?" A single tear slid down Marley's face, as she slowly shook her head. "Carmen, I love you." She grabbed her into a long, tight hug. "What's the matter?" Marley held her breath before speaking. "Car, there's been a horrible accident.." The first person who poped into Carmen's mind as she heard the word "accident" was Bobby. "Is he okay?!" Marley shook her head in response as more tears fell. "Noooo. No. NOO!!!" Carmen lost it. She broke down right there in the living room, her fists and teeth clenched as tight as possible. Her head shook harshly with her eyes tightly closed, trying despratly to awake from the "dream" she prayed she was haveing. Marley was sitting stiff on the couch, but she was crying just as much as Carmen. "He drove off an overpass and died. That's all I know." Marley's words were almost too difficult to make out with all her sobbing. "He did it on purpose! He commited suicide because of me! I did this! It's my fault!"

 

 

*Critique (sp?) format.

Author's Note

It isn't my fault it's all screwed up and squished together. No matter how many spaces I put, this site keeps leaveing it how it wants it. It's annoying, but what can I do? Try and bare with me if it's hard on the eyes.