Sleeping Aurora

another old slam poem

 

Don’t do it

Do you hear me Briar Rose?

Do not touch that spindle!

I know I know

You want to

But we both know you don’t have the best history with princes

So what if I don’t either?!

I’m not the one who wants

To just fall on my back for any heroic figure

What’s that?

You love him?

Doesn’t that seem familiar?

How about when you fell for that big bad wolf?

With his amazing howl

And enormous

Smile                

We both know

He was just killing time

Waiting for that little red tart

Or how about Prince Charming?

He seemed like the one

Until he left you

To go taste Snow White’s

Apple pie

What makes this one any different?

Oh… I see

So he wants to take things slow

You think 100 years and a day would be a good waiting period

And what are you going to do in the mean time?

Just sleep together?

Oh yeah that’s a perfect plan

Why don’t just give him the cow

You’re already getting his gigantic

Beanstalk

You know what go ahead

Don’t blame me when you catch him

Taking away Cinderella’s ….

Slipper

Good luck

Maybe this Prince Phillip will work for you

Maybe not

But either way you know where to find me

Just please take the real stairs

I need to wash my hair

 

Reviews

[Kaitlyn M.]

I like the idea, but the structure feels more like a rant than poetry. There doesn't seem to be any kind of structured flow to this (rhyme or not, since it doesn't necessarilly need it). It could be pulled together a little tighter, but the potential here is fantastic. I feel like you're really onto something, and I can sense the emotion laced behind this.

[Amy Hamilton]

This is great... I can see pieces of your Red Riding hood one in here, but it all connects really well. Your sarcasm was great, sounds really modern like me and my friend discussing how 'good' her new boyfriend is... you complete this feeling by adding that no matter what she chooses, she knows where to find her if she needs help. This is fantastic, as it shows how true friends are- honest, sometimes brutal but there no matter what. Well done!

[Ashentara]

awesome... wow!

[John Stussy]

Lmao!! This is hilarious, I love your cynical voice in here. This is an ingeniuos way to bring the whole "you're falling too fast" and giving it a new spin. You really write magnificently.

[Yvonne Heidt]

Actually - I loved this! It was laugh out loud funny and a great take on what this conversation would be in these modern times. Could be I just love sarcasm, but it really worked for me!

[Sarah S.]

i like where this is going. I feel like it could be more clear cut though, and less choppy. but a great start!