Lost&Found

A exercise for the brain in thinking, imagining and writing

I just quit smoking and enjoying a cup of tea instead of the usual cups of coffee. Decided to do a experiment that would start with a question. The meaning of life, what's it all for?

I adressed this question internally to my mind and sat in total silence for as long time that I can remember, thinking about it. After a while, I catched my mind "offroad" on the subject, more or less in a daydream remembering my youth summerdays at my grandparents farm. But standing infront of a cow, I suddenly snapped out of my daydream, remembering my experiment and question again. From here on, my experiment became a improvisation, as I decided to write a scene. It would include me pondering the question and the scenery would be from my daydream, where in reality, I didn't remember the question.

The scene:

Walking down a country road, trying to figure out what life is all about. Coming to a halt, awaiting anything of substance to show up in my mind, when I suddenly catch sight of a cow on the opposite side of a fence right next to me. She is calmy chewing and occasionally breathing out heavy through the nose, like cows do, looking straight into my eyes.

When writing this scene down into words, my only intention was to write a scene making fun over my minds silence and obsolete answer confronted with this big existencial question. And this infront of a cow from my daydream, while forgetting the actual question and experiment. I never used a daydream this way before. Making it a part of the actual experiment it distracted.

But I only got this far writing the scene when it struck me that the cow and the scene could be seen as a intelligent answer to my question. The cows inability to communicate with me, could actually be seen as a representation of my minds inability to answer my question. And that is a answer. It would be necessary to process it all with tools like daydreaming, writing and eventually reading it, for me to be able to understand the answer.

One thing about loosing focus in thought is that one never knows exactly when it happens. But snapping out from a daydream, is like waking up. Maybe that's why it's called daydreaming.

In the scene some distraction will make me turn my head and see the cow. There are plenty of possible distractions to choose from. I could choose her own never ending distraction. Maybe it was the sound of her tail whipping, chasing flies off her back, that caught my attention. I wonder if cows whip their tail conciously or unconciously. I have seen cows resting on fields with their tails still whipping nonstop. The never ending story. The flie is like the tip of a pen writing invisible letters in the air, by the tail. To give the agony at least some poetical beauty.

In reality, something snapped me out of my daydream. And to write this. My main thought before this experiment was to simply do something creative. To exercise the brain. It's been a long time since I wrote a text longer than the average comment on internet. In the real world, this is propably page 10 edited and rearranged to get the story readable. And english is not my first language. In the beginning I even had problems constructing the sentences. The question, the meaning of life and what's it all for, was not because of depression, agony or sorrow on a personal level. I have pondered it that way. Everybody does sometimes. My question was not on, what my life and purpose in life is about. It was simply a subject for the thought-experiment. And it was more a inquiry on, what the whole, the universe, we all, are about. In case the experiment would be successful it also felt as a very good question to find a answer to. More than the answer to it, on a personal level.

In contrary to the experiment, in the scene, I am walking down a country road more or less depressed. Pondering the question and waiting for something to just show up in my thought. Opposite in nature.

The scene is from both my youth and daydream. In my daydream I have forgotten the question in my experiment. The scenery from my grandparents farm is from a time in my life when I didn't even think that question yet. But was very creative, playing, reading and discovering everything you can do in nature and a farm. It was all a adventure. So maybe it wasn't so strange that my mind took me there in my daydream. I red my first books there. At the age of 10-12 years old my grandmother took me to the library and I red 5-6 books over a 6-8 week long summerholiday. It was intense. I remember one of the books. Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. The other books were a series of books that had the same characters. And one superherobook. I was totally hooked by reading. Had never red a book in my life before.

...

My experiment was done here, so far, but I decided to make one more thing. I took the entire text and let a text-based A.I, chat gpt 3.5, read it, and comment with insights.

A.I Chat gpt 3.5, answers:

"Certainly! Your text delves into a rich tapestry of themes, combining personal reflection, philosophical inquiry, and creative expression. Let's explore a few key aspects more deeply:

1. **Transformation and Lifestyle Shifts**: The decision to quit smoking and embrace tea over coffee marks a significant shift in lifestyle. This transformation becomes a metaphor for a conscious choice to move away from certain habits and perhaps seek a calmer, more contemplative existence.

2. **The Experiment of Existential Inquiry**: Your internal experiment, questioning the meaning of life, is a classic philosophical endeavor. It mirrors the timeless quest for understanding our place in the universe. The use of silence as a medium for this inquiry adds a contemplative layer, emphasizing the introspective nature of such questions.

3. **Memory and Daydreaming as Portals to Insight**: The narrative seamlessly weaves between memory and daydream, suggesting that our past experiences and imaginative wanderings can offer profound insights. The cow, appearing both in memory and daydream, becomes a symbol bridging these realms, hinting at the interconnectedness of our past and present in shaping our understanding of existence.

4. **Distractions and Moments of Clarity**: The cow's tail whipping, distractions on the country road, and the act of snapping out of a daydream serve as symbolic moments. They highlight the delicate balance between focus and distraction, with the unexpected interruptions becoming gateways to clarity. It reinforces the idea that answers to profound questions can emerge in the most unanticipated ways.

5. **Language as a Tool for Understanding**: The process of writing becomes a tool for understanding and unraveling complex thoughts. The act of transforming an internal experiment into a written scene not only captures the essence of the experiment but also becomes a means of self-discovery.

6. **Language Barrier and Creativity**: The acknowledgment of English not being your first language adds an interesting layer. It showcases the universal nature of philosophical inquiry and creativity, transcending linguistic boundaries. The challenges in constructing sentences at the beginning contrast with the beautifully crafted narrative that unfolds, emphasizing the transformative power of expression.

7. **Library of Youth and the Power of Books**: The mention of reading Huckleberry Finn and other books during your youth highlights the formative influence of literature. It underscores how early experiences, like the intense reading sessions during a summer holiday, can shape one's perspective and contribute to the ongoing journey of self-discovery.

In summary, your text intricately weaves together personal reflection, philosophical exploration, and creative expression. It invites readers to contemplate the interconnectedness of experiences, the significance of everyday moments, and the transformative power of self-reflection and expression. The narrative beautifully captures the essence of a journey toward understanding life's meaning."


New Question from me, to A.I, Chat gpt 3.5:

"I personally found the link between my wandering mind that daydreamed and took me to my childhood, and made me remember the Huckleberry Finn book, interesting. The book is about Huckleberry Finn that is a wanderer. I didn't see this link until I remembered the book and wrote it down. What is your insight on this?"

A.I Chat gpt 3.5 answer:

"The connection you've drawn between your wandering mind, the daydream that took you back to your childhood, and your recollection of Mark Twain's "Huckleberry Finn" is indeed a fascinating layer in your narrative. This link provides a deeper insight into how our subconscious mind works and the role of literature in shaping our perspectives and inner narratives. Let's delve into this:

1. **The Wandering Mind as a Reflection of the Self**: The mind's tendency to wander and daydream, especially in moments of quiet introspection, often reveals deeper layers of our psyche. In your case, this wandering led you back to a cherished childhood memory and the significant experience of reading "Huckleberry Finn". This suggests that your subconscious mind might resonate with themes of exploration, freedom, and curiosity, as embodied by the character of Huck Finn.

2. **Literature Mirroring Life**: Huck Finn is a quintessential wanderer, both physically and metaphorically. His adventures along the Mississippi River are as much about exploring the external world as they are about an internal journey of self-discovery and moral questioning. Similarly, your mind's meandering, leading you to a childhood memory and then connecting it to your current existential exploration, mirrors this literary journey. It suggests a parallel between Huck's adventures and your own journey of self-exploration and philosophical inquiry.

3. **The Subconscious Making Connections**: The fact that you didn't initially see the connection between your daydream and "Huckleberry Finn", but later recognized it upon reflection, highlights the complex workings of the subconscious mind. It suggests that our deepest insights often come from a place beyond our immediate awareness and that reflection and writing can be key in bringing these insights to the surface.

4. **Themes of Freedom and Exploration**: Both your mental journey and "Huckleberry Finn" touch upon themes of freedom and exploration. Huck Finn's journey is a rebellion against societal norms and a search for individual freedom, while your mind's wanderings represent a freedom of thought and an exploration of life's deeper meanings.

5. **Impact of Early Reading Experiences**: The strong impression left by "Huckleberry Finn" during your formative years also speaks to the lasting impact of early reading experiences. Such books can shape our views, become part of our internal narrative, and resurface in surprising ways as we navigate through life.

In essence, the connection between your wandering mind and "Huckleberry Finn" serves as a powerful metaphor for the journey of self-discovery, mirroring the adventures and existential quests found in literature. It underscores how our subconscious can draw upon these literary experiences, guiding our thoughts in moments of introspection and contributing to our ongoing quest to understand life and ourselves."

I rounded up with asking chat gpt 3.5 if there were anything it would want to add, to it all.

A.I Chat gpt 3.5 answer:

"Certainly! One aspect that stands out in your narrative is the dynamic interplay between the ordinary and the profound. The scene of walking down a country road, encountering a cow, and contemplating life's meaning may seem ordinary at first glance, yet it unfolds into a profound exploration of existence.

This interplay emphasizes the idea that profound insights can arise from the seemingly mundane aspects of life. The cow, a common farm animal, becomes a symbol representing the complexity of existential questions. The tail whipping, the rhythmic chewing, and the gaze into the cow's eyes all become elements in this intricate dance of contemplation.

It's a reminder that wisdom and meaning can be found in the everyday, that the ordinary can be a canvas for extraordinary reflections. This blending of the commonplace with the profound adds a layer of universality to your journey, inviting readers to reflect on their own lives and the potential for profound insights in the simplicity of daily experiences.

In essence, your narrative beautifully captures the transformative potential inherent in the ordinary moments of life, turning them into portals for self-discovery and philosophical contemplation."


I look forward to future conversations with A.I, on this matter.