Why?

You ever go on your Instagram or Facebook and someone posts an incredibly inspiring quotation or story about love, beauty, or the people they are dropping in 2016. To be honest, I usually hate them(the quotes not the people),. I feel like people post them as if they believe it will bring me (or has brought them) to some sort of greater understanding. But never once did I read, “Beauty Begins the Moment You decide to be Yourself” and “Imperfection is Beautiful” and think to myself “Wow. NOW EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE! My life is changed forever”. Absolutely nothing changes.  .

My first point in bringing that up is that it I don’t intend for this writing, or any writing I that I may or may not post, to be some exaggerated version of a similar quote. Rather, I am writing this because I am curious. Specifically, I am curious about the thought processes of other people. I hope that me sharing my thoughts and my feelings periodically will help some people learn a little more about me. And maybe (just maybe) that might be reciprocated (“You Got to Give a Little To Get a Little J”).

The second reasons, I started off by mentioning corny quotes and written works is because last week I spent a lot of time contemplating the value of art. Friday, was the school’s coffee house, and I spent just about everyday leading up to it stressing out about putting on a good performance. I spent most of my time practicing, making new music, and thinking heavily about how I wanted to do in that performance. But somewhere in the middle of the week, I stopped and asked myself why I cared so much about how well I did in that performance. I mean, it didn’t really matter right? I would go on stage, perform a few songs, some people would clap, and later they’d tell me that I did a great regardless of whether or not I actually did. I wouldn’t change lives or inspire anyone. I wouldn’t f*** with anybodies emotions in way that they would be left wanting more. All I would just be is cheap entertainment for about 30 �" 40 minutes. It would carry no meaning in the lives of anyone.

I made the argument that I was doing it for me. But even that didn’t hold up very long. People are constantly telling me how great they think I am at guitar (btw I like an okay guitar player), and although it is greatly appreciated, it has lost its value over time. So, I no longer feel the need to perform for of approval others or to feel that I am good enough.

(I am getting tired of writing) So the coffee house came, and essentially I was right. I didn’t get much out of doing it other than getting to spend time with friends both new and old.

So today when I thought about writing this I came to this conclusion. Because its hard for me to use words and actually speak to people, music has been my way of communicating things that I want to would like to say. Therefore all I could hope to do as a musician (or with any other thing I do) is get people relate to how I feel through the music that play. But like most things in life, feelings are temporal, and will fade away. No one is always happy, angry, or sad. And no one is always going be about to relate to how I feel at a given. The mutual feelings will sometimes come, but always go away. Even the new friendships that I made (and the one’s I strengthened) will someday end and mean nothing. Hence I still struggle with understanding why music? Why art? Why anything?

 

My best answer: Just cause.