Through the Fire (Prose)

Just a reflection into my past emotionally abusive relationship, and how through the hell I experienced, my Heavenly Father was there for me.

In the night it’s hard to keep my mind from wandering.

The dark places of my memories slink in, whispering my name.

I hear your voice.

The voice I once yearned to hear now makes me cringe in fear.

As thoughts of you race through my head, my palms become damp and my breathing quickens.

Panic overtakes me as I am transported back to the life of the girl who always cried.

I hear your words, telling me my faults, criticizing my life, laughing in my face.

I remember those arguments, my silent pleas for you to just hit me and be done with it.

I remember you using me and my family for your own gain.

Nothing I did pleased you.

I never said the right thing.

I was a burden, a pessimist, a pain in the a*s.

I wasn’t enough.

I will never forget the name of the girl you cheated on me with.

My mind will never get rid of the memory of you pushing me away when I went to kiss your cheek.

I am haunted by you and the demons you left behind.

In my fear and brokenness I remember a time I questioned my will to live. Where I wondered how much happier life would be if I wasn’t around to experience it.

Face upturned, I look to Him.

My Heavenly Father.

In a time where I believed I was worthless, a failure, a burden, a horrible human being,

My Father reached out His hand and simply said

‘I love you’.

Even now, as the panic ceases, and I come back to my senses, I smile up at Him.

He takes away the lies to show me His truth:

I am priceless.

I am not a mistake.

I am His child.

He loves me;

No matter what.