Singing The Primitive Beauty

In the blooming summer,

Facilitated by the broiling sun,

I looked up to the clear sky,

Who murmured its chants.

Orating about its ventures,

It turned me to the ground.

Towards the lush green nature,

Stretching beyond my sight.

Sneaking behind those monstrous trees,

I played hide and seek with nature.

Who tried to capture me,

With its whimsical spirits.

The waters sang me a humble lay,

And I listened, quiet and still.

After juggling with my patience,

I sang with them aloud.

Till the hulking mountains,

Echoed back my utterance.

And hummed the melody,

Passing its reaches to the nightingale.

Who sang in a lyrical flow,

While the butterflies vocalised.

Messaging past those weak leaves,

Who duplicated the aria.

Then we all sang, together and forever,

Till the moon rose above the trees.

Author's Note

I wrote this poem last night. I need some reviews on this poem to make it better.

Reviews

[Fréyjä Helv..]

Reminded me more of spring time. I think the flow is brilliant. I like this one a lot.

[Bourbon Key]

Hey, dude, or dudette, I really like that poem. Good rhythm.

[frivolous treasures]

Very well done! You wrote with beautiful eloquence and I loved every word.

[Sacsen Foote]

Oooo I very much like this, personifying nature is always enjoyable. Right away though I wanted "humble lay" to read "bubbling lay" don't know if it fits your vision but just a thought :)

[.]

Great and lovable poetry u write! Loved it woth all my heart! 100/100 :)

[K.G]

Facilitated,Orating, these words are a little to big in my opinion to be used,most poems use simple words especially words that flow with it, other then that i love this, its very beautiful , in fact maybe it could be a song like with some blues or something, jazz? could be my imagination. . .:3

[Sarah G.]

This is really beautiful! Good work! :)

[Sarah G.]

Could you read and rate my poem 'The Lonesome Dark'? Thanks! :)

[Redrascalstrawberry]

Ya sure, well, thanks :)

[Sarah G.]

:)

[Barbara Walker]

Right off the bat, I want the last line to read, "When the moon rose above the trees." I don't know about the sky "growling".
"I played hide and seek with the nature" drop "the".
I'd drop "After juggling with my patience" Just, "And I listened, quiet and still, then, I sang with them aloud.
I'd drop the words, "the same" in the butterfly sentence.

Your intent is conveyed in this piece with great imagery. A little work and you have an excellent piece of writing.

[Redrascalstrawberry]

Thank you so much for the help...I'll make all the changes :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. Good to join nature in a song. Good description allowed me to create vision of the forest and content people. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote