Unreturned Love

Sing to me, my sweet beautiful river of red

When you stop flowing, I’ll be dead

You won’t miss me

I know you don’t love me, you don’t have to pretend

So my darling, my existence must come to an end

I cannot face this cruel world without you by my side

Without you my love, this life I can’t abide

I can’t live another day in this life

Because my unreturned love

Is killing me inside

 

 

Reviews

[BLFK]

One thing I noticed that you could change- all the uses of you. Try doing a more creative wording for the guy in the story. This is a good/sad piece, and at the moment, it's not living up to everything it could be. Please understand that I am not trying to be mean, but want to give you a bit of advice. I liked this...I liked it very much. Keep writing your heart out.
BLFK

[Wolfwind Words]

I really enjoyed the rhyming with in this piece and the shape of it made it flow down to the ultimate end. Like watching the water swirl down the drain of a full tub.

I think this piece works well.

Aaron

[NatashaMae]

I really like this poem.. it's full of strong emotion, and it really spoke to me as a reader. Amazing Work!