Cradle the poison

Insomnia has been my company for more then 12 years

The smiles and the bubbly atmosphere,
Thought I was safe.
When I pushed the door of my apartment,
Darkness and silence greeted me again.

Sleep, sleep.

Suddenly the wave was back-
Anger, dejection and humiliation.
Like the woodcutters wood near his feet,
My grief’s rush in to be buried beneath.

I cradled my bottle of rum.
Silence howl filled the air.
The poison dripped,
My eyes still in oblivion.

Sleep, sleep.

It was a far cry.
The fear within me, for me.
I slipped and I surrendered.

My scattered wrist
-Last to glance.
The thousand cuts blurred
Yet, I breed their new kin.

As I grabbed another bottle,
I watched as the blood dripped.
Fiery red and tempting-
My sympathy cried out.

Sleep, sleep.

Sweet sensation soothed my wound
Tears streamed down, yet I smile.
The howl deafened by weaken throb.
And I cradled the poison.

The years rolled back in,
My lashes got the dipped
I jerked and stopped the flow,
Yet, I fretted and cried
For, tomorrows night’s battle awaits still.

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Has the sound of a sever anxiety attack not abated by alcohol. The references to cutting are chilling, but in some situations it seems the only way to relieve the dread. Grim, this one.

[Sami Khalil]

It is a battle indeed. I hope you win it and be comforted and be dreamy again...:).................

[Abhishek Ramkissoon]

awesome, very nicely written.
powerful and very expressive, the many emotions just made it so much more enjoyable (literally).
a very good poem.

[Akuma]

I love this. it's a wonderful piece.

[Branch Isole]

So many layers intertwined so well in this piece. One of the best this reader has seen posted on this site.
I especially like these great lines:

"Anger, dejection and humiliation.
Like the woodcutters wood near his feet"

"The thousand cuts blurred
Yet, I breed their new kin."

"Tears streamed down, yet I smile."

[...]

. very graphic ... almost scary ... powerfully expressed ... i sometimes think insomnia is the fear of life ... meaning that if one can accept uneventful days in one's life (as part of life) ... one can usually manage to get some sleep without succumbing to any kind of self-destruction (including substance abuse) ... or maybe that's just me ...

[Hotwater]

I see what you mean! (The Quiet Room) some have to be careful, they don't get that second 'battle'. More good work here.
*bird*

[Courtney]

wow. this website usually fosters newbies, but it seems as if you really know what you're doing. I really like it. I'm going to read more.

[DC Gentleman]

The desperation was palpable in this piece.. you crafted this well.. I pray you get that sleep soon..

Excellent poem.. it sucked me from the first lines and carried me to the end..

*** APPLAUSE ***

[Vesa Lee]

I really loved how this drummed in my mind as I read it...like a lullaby surging with each verse.
I hope very much that this war with the mind will be won to you...if this is more than just a story...