White Rooms

Chains snicker

As vultures bicker

Yet I'm still alive,

waiting for death to arrive,

it'd be too simple,

so instead life will cripple

what's viewed as insane.

Why can't you see?

It is only in pain,

Why won't you just leave it be?

They cry for my sake,

But I know they are fake.

I'm a chance for them so,

they can play "hero"

I am not a human, 

I am an "it,"

I am either "justice," 

or just another hit.

Alone, here in my cage

With nothing but my rage.

My shadow, the only darkness,

from light, that tore me,

from white that wore me

Till I was skin and bones, 

and shadow consumed me.

Author's Note

It may be hard to dismantle. On another note, does anyone else, ALWAYS get the captcha they've entered wrong? That drives me crazy. Flipping onium. It's not my fault you look like onion.

Reviews

[TheMalady]

Somehow, it made me think of exactly what kind of 'it' this is. It could be anything. Truly, the human heart is an endless pit of complex emotions. Your craft her had drawn that thought well. 'It' could be a lot of things. Quite ambiguous. You really did great! :)

[siddhi]

From the title and then the start to the last stanza, interesting. Well done.

[Fireyphoenix]

Very entangled with torment and pain as if being chastised or tortured from either within or from out! How terrifying to feel this way!! I can certainly identify with these feelings! Speaking from my own demons!!! Very nice Crims!!!!

[Crimson Apples]

Thank you!!!
Your comment just broke my heart with it's sweetness.

[Gee]

Love rhyming verse,very much liked this.You have an unusual but very pleasing style

[Crimson Apples]

Thank you =)
Your profile picture is adorable by the way. I have a King Charles Spaniel. SHEEEE'S A SWEEETHEAAAAART.

[Gee]

You're most welcome.......Jake,10 year old cocker,a beautiful animal,although he thinks he is a human !!

[Crimson Apples]

I'm pretty sure all pets think they are xD

[zunie frost]

Hello crimson !:-)
this is my first visit to your profile and i love it !!
Poetry is really emotional with such a smooth flow keep writing

[Crimson Apples]

Thank you =)
I'm happy you've enjoyed your visit!

[zunie frost]

Yup i did !! Have a nice day

[Crimson Apples]

Thank you =)
I hope you do too!

[Meeks]

Catchpas are horrifying, and don't work for stopping programs most of the time anyway.

Love the fourth stanza, especially the beginning. I'm currently working on a story to explain the difference between 'he' and 'it', so I understood this to be a deeper description of the character. Anywau, good luck, and great post. Keep writing, it can only get better.

[Crimson Apples]

I'll get all pumped about posting something online, then repeatedly get the captcha wrong. >=(
read moreI'll get all pumped about posting something online, then repeatedly get the captcha wrong. >=(
But thank you for the review, and I'm glad you got it. Or more importantly read, and liked it =D

[Willard Wells]

From the title and then the start, I thought i would be someone in a padded cell. Then when I got to the last stanza, I wondered if perchance I could be correct. I don't think so, but interesting. Well done.

[Crimson Apples]

No, that's what I imagined while writing this. Thank you for the review!

[Sympathy Heart]

I love rhyming poems! So catchy and fun, almost like a trick on your mind to figure out.

[Crimson Apples]

Yas! I have to reword a lot of what I want to say, or just change it entirely. Like art. I'll start drawing a princess, but it turns into some fire breathing dragon thing. But as long as it doesn't suck...

[Crimson Apples]

Thanks for the review =)

[Sympathy Heart]

When I write I try to make it serious, but then it just ends up being humerus (x-ray tech humor for ya ;) ). Every time.

[Crimson Apples]

lol. I can never stay on topic when writing persuasive essays for school. Iz s**t xD

[Sympathy Heart]

after having a radiology instructor who wanted papers done in her class and pointless reports, when I was in my class last semester one of my classmates asked if we were going to have to do reports for that instructor and he responded with "Oh, hell no". Needless to say I liked him.

[Crimson Apples]

My favourite teacher, started off his introduction with a "what the f**k?" after tripping on his way in.

[Sympathy Heart]

first day of intro to radiography: shown xrays of random objects up patients bums.

[Crimson Apples]

lololol XD

[-inactive now-]

Very well worded and structured, I had fun dismantling it. The fourth stanza was most impressive!

[Crimson Apples]

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed =)

[NightWatch]

I really don't understand much about poetry, but this one seemed to make a lot of sense to me.
Sorry I'm not all that constructive TT^TT

[Crimson Apples]

Thank you for reviewing! I found that very constructive, and it makes me happy you read this =) I'm glad it makes sense to you.