There is. . .

love

There’s this beautiful moment when you smile, it makes my heart skip a beat, a smile that says it all.

There’s a wonderful look within your eyes when you capture my breath and I see into soul.

There’s an amazing current that passes through me, with your touch, that makes me want to fall.

There’s an exhilarating feeling that is always present with lips.

There’s a heavenly peace when your body presses against mine.

There’s an air of safety when you’re around.

 

There’s an empty void when we are apart.

Author's Note

Im not sure, feels like its missig something. I kinda just wrote it outta the blue. Any thoughts?

Reviews

[NyanMeow]

Hmm...I think this is wonderful!
But if you really think it's missing something, maybe it's a transition sentence before "Theres an empty void when we're apart." it was very jarring.

Maybe even just a

But...
However...

or a whole nother line?

But that's only if you really want to change something. :P

[Bloody Ceca]

Thats deep.. Really deep.. And it's perfect.. (that just what i think)

[therisa]

I agree Angel, but am not sure what it is, either. Except maybe, the first stanza and the last line of the poem, don't feel right to me, like they are crashing against each other. Wish I was of more assistance to you, on this. :(