Stowey house

I wrote this last year at some point as an idea for the first chapter of a book and didn't think much of it. I rediscovered it recently and thought I might put it up. However it needs a lot of work.

“Here we are, Stowey house” The house was big, almost a mansion, made of red brick, green overgrowth covered nearly every inch. Eight people stepped out of the car, looking up at this large and magnificent building.

“Wow” Georgie was awestruck by the enormity and beauty of it. “It's beautiful” she exclaimed.

“It really is” this agreement came from her best friend, Lily. The others in the car where two more girls, Anna and Amanda, and four boys, William, Colin, Marcus and Ben.

“It's rather larger than I thought” confessed Anna, and they all seemed to agree.

Upon entering the house, they found themselves speechless to the undeniable elegance and extravagance of the interior.

“This place really is something else” said William, smiling.

“You must be the guests” they all turned in alarm to see an old women, grey hair falling madly over her pale face , standing before them.

“Yes, that's us” answered Ben, carefully

“I'm Miss Morter, housekeeper.” she replied, coldly, seemingly not interested at all in this group of twenty-somethings standing before her. They all stood, awkwardly for a couple of minutes before Colin spoke

“Nice house, isn't it?” Miss Morter looked upon him gravely

“You may not be saying that by the end of your stay, if you are saying anything at all”

“Meaning?” Anna looked slightly taken aback, as did the others

“This house is not all it seems, stories of things that go bump in the night, best be sticking together kiddies” with these cold words she left, and the eight of them stood, not quite knowing what to say.

“What exactly did she mean by that?” Lily was obviously shaken by these words.

“You guys aren't actually taking her seriously are you?” William looked around, and everyone seemed to be quite worried.

“Well she didn't exactly sound like she was joking” replied Amanda

“Oh come on, she's an old women!” he said in disbelief “She's likely lost her mind anyway, did you see her face, she was utterly insane!” they all laughed at this and tried to put this maddening welcome behind them.

“So rooms then?” Ben spoke to the group as they sat in the living room.

“we were of course told that there were four rooms, with two single beds in each.” everyone looked up, wondering what would follow.

“there isn't, there are two rooms with three double beds and then two rooms with single beds.”

he was pacing whilst saying this.

“So, that means one girl and one boy will have to bunk alone.” everyone looked around at one another, trying not to think of the 'things that go bump in the night'.

“Well I am not sleeping alone, no way” Amanda looked almost terrified at the thought

“if I'm honest the thought doesn't entirely thrill me either” admitted Georgie

“I don't mind, if no one else wants to” it was Lily that spoke up this time

“Okay, that's good, thank you Lily, now one of the boys?” they were all silent

“I'll do it, I guess” Volunteered Colin.

“Okay that's that then, sorted” he smiled.

Anna put her things in the bedroom downstairs. It had very Victorian décor, something which she was fond of. She looked around, moving round the room. And then a noise, she started. It had came from the window, as if someone has been in amongst the rose bush outside, but there was no one there, she made her way to the window, hurriedly looking out into the garden, where darkness has fallen. Nothing was there. Had she imagined it? Was it simply something her mind had conjured up to set her at unease. In the back of her mind, the words of the old housekeeper echoed, until she became too afraid to look out of the window anymore, and left the room to join the others in the living room.

“You okay Anna?” Ben had noticed the drained colour and distant look on her face, and she turned to see him looking quite concerned.

“Yea, I'm fine” she faked a smile to fool him into thinking she was at all at ease, when really she could not remove the thoughts from her mind which scared her.

“Well I think I might get an early night, long journeys tire me out” Marcus stood up, and soon enough, only Anna and Amanda were left in the living room.

“I can't get that women out of my head, can you?” Amanda asked

“No I can't, though I'm not sure we should be talking about it” Anna looked grave, and Amanda immediately dropped the subject, moving on to something more light hearted, lulling herself into a false sense of security.

The room was fairly large, none the less it was cold and had the dank smell of a little used cupboard. Under the duvet, Georgie shivered. Oh how she wished she had some kind of light, something to make the room somewhat less terrifying. She had never been one who was fond of the dark and being all alone in a strange place was not of any help. She closed her eyes, trying to think of something happy. No use. All that was in her mind was the grave words of a seemingly crazy elderly women. A noise. She was sure of it, almost certain that she had heard something other than herself move inside the room. She was beginning to feel a cold sweat over her forehead. She was panicking suddenly, though she was not entirely sure this was necessary. She must calm herself. Noises were surely common in such an old house, yes, of course they were, how naïve she had been to think it anything sinister. She sat up, wiping the sweat from her brow. She had never in her life been so uncomfortable due to some unwarranted fear. And then she saw it. Like ice she sat frozen, rooted to the spot. A horrible nausea was undulating deep into her stomach. In the chair next to the mirror, she saw an almost transparent figure, sitting staring at her. Black eyes, the eyes that only belonged to evil. It could almost be made out as a women, long white dress draped over the edge of the chair. She finally summoned the power to move, and immediately ran for the door, shouting for anyone who would listen.

“What's wrong?” every person in the house had gathered hearing the piercing scream of desperation.

“There was something there! It was! It was looking at me!” everyone looked around in alarm

“What are you talking about Georgie?” William asked, worried

“In my room” she tried to gather herself, slowing her speech to a comprehensible speed

“There was someone there, looking at me from the chair.” everyone looked at each other

“You're just tired Georgie, you're mind plays tricks-” Ben began but Georgie stopped him

“No, I saw it, I'm sure of it.” she was adamant

They all followed William into the downstairs bedroom, he turned on the light to see that nothing was there.

“It was there” she looked at the chair in disbelief.

“I'm sure of it” the others looked to one another wondering what to think

“Maybe we should all just get some sleep” Anna said, moving to get into her bed, followed by Amanda in agreement. The others soon left and Georgie was forced to put the image aside and attempt once more, to get some sleep.

Lily was staring at the ceiling. Georgie's apparent sighting had unsettled her, and she feared she would also see something, but could not bring herself to close her eyes. She tried to concentrate on sleeping, but it was this deep concentration which made it so much more difficult to even become tired. What If Georgie did see something? What if there was something else in the house with them? Should she be afraid of this possibility? She could no longer bear to be alone with these fearful questions. She made her way out of bed and out of her room, shutting the door behind her. She continued across the hall to the facing door, knocking upon it, pausing for an answer, she waited for a while but then,

“Come in” Colin's groggy voice came from the other side of the door, and she went inside the room.

“hey” she smiled at him through the dark

“Hello” he replied, rubbing his eyes, trying to sit up.

“Sorry, didn't mean to wake you” she felt a pang of guilt for waking him up

“no, it's fine” he replied, mustering a humble smile.

“I'm scared” she admitted, barely visible through the darkness of the night “Can I stay in here with you?”

“Of course” he smiled, lifting up his duvet for her. She lay down beside him, feeling sudden warmth. Facing each other, they closed their eyes and fell asleep almost suddenly, feeling safe in each others company.

“Lily! Lily!” suddenly she awoke, alarmed at the sound of her name being shouted in worry and fear.

“Georgie...” She jumped out of bed and ran to the door, opening it she saw Georgie standing outside her door looking panicked.

“Georgie what's wrong?”

“Oh, I thought you were in the other room” she looked confused “wait, if you're in here where's Colin?” Lily needed no answer as Colin appeared behind her, looking half asleep, his hair ruffled messily.

“What's wrong Georgie?” His voice was groggy, Georgie's confusion disappeared into surprised amusement.

“Ohhh” She smirked, an air of mischief spreading over her, Lily looked round to Colin and then back to Georgie

“Oh No” She assured Georgie who was nodding with a grin spread across her face “No no no, I was scared”

“Sure” Georgie laughed walking away

“No no no, Georgie nothing happened”

“I believe you! Really” She was obviously amused, but unconvinced. Lily turned back to Colin, who smiled, sweetly, looking still half asleep.

Author's Note

Again, ignore spelling/grammar errors, just focus on the writing as a whole

Reviews

[Sujash I. Purna]

where can I find its update?
Gripping story! But you should have lingered awhile longer in the nearly transparent figure with evil eyes! Do give the ghosts more details! Gave me goose-bumps! Good job!

[Owlgirl]

Awesome! I think it could be longer, but it's great as is too. Well written!

[BillyGirl]

This looks like a great first chapter for a book. Despite the spelling/grammar errors, this still kept my attention. It'd be great to see more of this :)

[quixotic_rose]

this is good, it reminds me of those scary movies type approach. the image she saw even made me kind of scared, great descriptions, this has a lot of potential to it! I think you should keep going with it :)

[That_Girl]

I think this could turn into a pretty good book. It's too short to determine a plot but I'd be more than willing to read another chapter. :)