Idea for book. Some feedback would be great

paragraph of first chapter. Just an idea I got a while ago.

All the houses had gone now. It was just trees and fields. You couldn't deny the beauty of it, no, that was apparent to anyone, no matter how deluded or disturbed. Disturbed, one word which perfectly describes Isabelle Jaquefort. Even outwardly the signs were clear, she was an outcast. It might have been her messy bed head hair, cut short to avoid annoyance, or her tired eyes, eyeliner smudged cheaply around them, giving her the look of a sleep deprived cocaine addict. Her clothing style probably didn't help either, she thought. Her straight black trousers, turned up at the ankle, with her white socks leading to her scuffed and worn black sandshoes made her feel comfortable, guarded. Along with her black suit jacket, shirt and messy neck tie, she felt hidden, invisible. Her mother thought that boarding school might be good for her. Maybe pushing her into a new place so confined might force her to make friends.

“Just more people to judge me” she mumbled, as her mother started another lecture about how many people she would get to meet and how lucky she was to have such an opportunity.

“Oh Izzy, no one's judging you! Honestly, I don't know why you have such a problem with everyone, you has plenty of friends at elm hill” Her mother was clueless about her social life, or lack of it, as the case was. She had nothing to say in rebellion to this so she rolled her eyes at her mothers ignorance to her pain.

“There's all these clubs you can join, I hear they have fencing! You'd love that!”

“No I wouldn't, I would be rubbish at it” She stared out of the window once more

“Oh, Izzy” she said again, but this time more sympathetically

“Don't mum.” She knew her mother was about to launch into a massive speech about how great she really was, and how she shouldn't put herself down like that, and she did know that she loved her, didn't she? It was just too much.

Big Wraught iron gates, how original. thought Isabelle as the drew closer to the school.

The school looked as old and institutional as she had thought. Many girls stood outside in the courtyard. Oh jesus. The uniforms were extremely proper. Blue in colour, a long tartan skirt along with shirt, tie and blazor. 

Reviews

[devon]

I hope you continue this!

I'd definitely read! It's very interesting, and Izzy sounds like a very different character. :)

[quixotic_rose]

I do indeed like this for just the short few opening paragraphs. I love how you described Izzy, I got the perfect picture of her in my mind and how she looks. I'm now curious as to what the story line is going to be about and I think you should continue on with this. There are many possible paths on which you could take her on, I hope you pick a good one :)