I'm not afraid anymore

I'm not afraid of the noises in the middle of the night, or the bitter midnight darkness. I'm not afraid because I hope they find me, the monsters under the bed and hiding in the wardrobe. 

The moment when I almost walk out in front of a car on the busy road only takes my breath away, because I was so close to making it all look like an "accident". I don't even look before I cross anymore. 

It's like I'm actively seeking the dangerous things in life, the things that could all end so tragically. Not for the thrill, for the chance, the maybe those things bring. 

I'm not afraid anymore, because I don't care. The only thing that does really scare me, is that I'm not scared. Death doesn't scare me. What have I become?

Reviews

[Ahmad Cox]

Letting go of fear isn't something to be scared of are to fear. We all have to conquer our own fears in life. We all have our own battles and fears to tackle and if you continue to live in fear you can never grow past the point you are now. So you shouldn't feel afraid or scared, its your mind and body and soul releasing your fears and hurts and pains so you can start to move forward to them in a place where you don't have to live off of your fears and instead you can live in peace and happiness with where you are in life and with who you are.

[quarintine_deathangel]

I can say I've gone through this already. You need to conquer your fears. Quit fearing life and start living it. Don't get addicted to something to live. I find journaling thoughts and looking back at them helps you to configure what is going through your head and why. If you are religious, thumb through the bible to a random verse[I believe God will show those in need], write it down, read the chapter it came from, then write how that verse relates to your life and what it can do to help you. I found Proverbs 1:7. It turned my whole mindset. I have conquered every fear God has given me up to Romance Xp I'm learning ^.< But goodluck and don't let yourself get killed if you want yourself to die, it's suicide.

[quarintine_deathangel]

Also, if you ever need it e-mail me I'll give advice or talk.

[Beck Louise]

Thanks! I will certainly keep a journal:) though i am an atheist so i dont find much help in religion, as many others do haha Thank you so much for the advice, much appreciated :) x

[SmileBig :)]

Oh. My. God. Are you me? Like, you have to be this is exactly how I feel! For a while now I've been doing stupid things like cutting my wrists, just curious to see if a vain would break. I've been walking out in a crowded/ busy street with the knowledge that I MIGHT get hit by a car. I've been really really not careful with fire, or hot things. I used to look for bad wires. I don't anymore. Anyway, you seem to be just like me.

[Beck Louise]

I'm you. TADAAA! just kidding haha. Yeah man, it sucks to feel like it:( Ah cutting is one of my stupid things too, its an awful thing. I hope you stay strong

[SmileBig :)]

Haha I knew you were me! Lol yea it does suck to feel like that :/ cutting is a stupid habit that the smartest of people seem to have...like, my whole lower arm looks like its been sewed back on multiple times in multiple places! Haha I call them my battle scars.

[Beck Louise]

hahaha! yup:/ it really is an awful thing to start, oh dear:/ im much the same, its so horrible to look at though! "The cat did it" thats my reasoning haha. Aw thats quite a nice way of saying it :)

[SmileBig :)]

Haha yea. I would use that excuse but I don't have a cat! Lol now I need to get one. And yea ever heard of the quote "Under my clothes are my battle wounds From the war inside my head. Outside Im smiling, but inside I'm dead"? I live by that quote!

[Beck Louise]

I hadn't heard it! but its an amazing quote to live by! :) Will need to write that one down for future reference :')

[SmileBig :)]

Lol it's not such an amazing quote to live by because it's so sad, but it's my life summed up in just a few words! So I use it :)