I've never told a lie.

The way he looks at me is so frustrating. Is he seriously giving me the eyes? Those big brown eyes. Oh god, he needs to stop looking at me like that. Alex just walked past me. This does nothing for the guilt I feel for even thinking that way about Jack. I mean, he's my brothers best friend. We've been flirting for weeks though, ever since that first day when we met;

“This is my little sister ” I felt vulnerable being introduced as “little” and I felt even more vulnerable when he looked at me and smiled. That smile.

“Nice to meet you” He waved awkwardly but his confidence didn't break. It was something that was always with him. Though I could tell there was a shy vulnerability somewhere inside him.

“You okay Gracie?” S**t, I totally zoned out. Alex looks at me, looking confused but slightly amused. I catch a glance of Jack, who looks so smug. He knows exactly why I was dazed.

“Yeah, fine” I mumble, pushing my hair out of my face. We are currently on the tour bus, which is like a cave, bathed in darkness, keeping out the eyes of obsessive All Time Low fans. Alex just laughs, and then wanders off to talk to Tay. Watic are the support on this tour, they've kind of become more like best friends.

“I reckon, while we're here we may as well walk around a bit, catch some of the sights you know?” Suggests Alex, sliding his fingers around the curtains, trying to catch a glimpse of daylight.

“Yeah, lets go” Jack is already on his feet, and I notice everyone seems to be getting ready. I stretch dramatically, feeling particularly sluggish today. I can't really be bothered sight seeing, but I'd rather that than sit alone all day. So we head out into the centre of London.

The streets are bustling with people, wrapped up warmly, protected from the bitter January weather. I pull my scarf over my nose, feeling it nip at the freezing cold. It must be into the negative temperatures now. I'm freezing. My jacket is massive, heavy and warm, but even it doesn't seem enough right now. Zack lets out an over exaggerated shiver.

“God, it's freezing” I nod, but only slightly, my body isn't allowing me to move any more than necessary. Everyone else seems to be the same, slightly regretting agreeing to go out on this venture. I notice the pavements are sheeted with ice. Some of it has been picked away, but a lot of it still lies, looking more and more dangerous, especially to me. Ice and I have never been buddies. We tend to fall out a lot, well it's more me doing the falling if we're honest. We notice a Starbucks across the road and decide it's time for a break from dodging the icy pavements.

They look a bit shocked to see so many people in one group. We find a few tables close together and sit down, as Alex takes a mental note of everyone's drinks before heading to the counter. Jack slides into the chair next to me. I'm trying to avoid eye contact. I can feel him looking at me though. I turn to him and decide it's time to stop all this nonsense.

“What?” I say, a little more harshly than I had first intended. He looks confused then, and resides to stare at the floor

“Nothing, I guess” He mumbles. A pang of guilt hits me. I didn't mean to be horrible, it just panics me, him giving me that look, when my brother is so close by. I go to apologise but I'm cut off by Rob, who sits on the other side of Jack.

“Let's see how British Starbucks compares with the good old US” He rubs his hands together, challenging. “You all right Jack?” He notices Jack's grim expression.

“Yeah, yeah, just, uh, cold” Jack shakes off his hurt and begins to smile again. I say nothing for a while. Just sit and stare at my old scuffed boots. I do like Jack. But I'm under no illusion. I don't want to hurt my brother, or I don't want it to effect their friendship. I know as well as anyone that Jack is the best friend Alex has ever had. They're a team, and I won't risk splitting that up.

“Hello?” Alex is waving a hand in front of my face. D****t, I must have zoned out again.

“Sorry” I shake myself back into the room, taking the cup of coffee he's holding out.

“Jeez, what is wrong with you today?” He asks, taking the seat across from me

“Nothing” I can hear the tone in my voice. It's a shy vulnerable tone. One that says I'm hiding something. And he knows it. He raises his eyebrow, questioning me, but I say nothing. I sip my coffee, and avoid talking to anyone for the rest of the time we're there.

When we arrive back at the bus just as the sun is setting, it's nearly time for sound check. I can hear the crazed fans outside the Apollo. The buzz is already starting, and the guys from watic are forced to leave, and go get ready for sound check.

“You alright? You've seemed pretty distant today” Alex comes downstairs, where I sit alone at the table.

“Yeah, fine” I force a smile, but he rolls his eyes.

“You know, you don't always have to pretend everything's okay” I almost wince. He really thinks there's something wrong. I realise I have to make something up.

“I'm just, you know, missing home” I pretend to look upset, and it seems to work. He moves over next to me and puts a consoling arm around my shoulder.

“Hey, listen, I know it's hard being away from home, but you still have me” He gives me a kind smile and I immediately feel awful for lying to him.

“Yeah, I know” I smile back, and he pulls me in, giving me a suffocatingly tight hug.

“Right, now I'm going for a shower, and you better be smiling by the time I'm back down here” He smirks before leaving. I can still hear the fans outside, screaming blue murder. I wander around the bus, trying to find something to amuse me, but nothing seems to suffice. What am I supposed to do? Just pretend I don't have feeling for him? I tried that already, but I just don't see the point anymore.

I hear footsteps and turn to see Jack pulling his belt buckle shut. His hair is still dripping wet, obviously not long out of the shower.

“Hey” I say, but in return, he just gives me a dirty look. “Whatever” I say, turning to face the window again, annoyed at him, but knowing deep down, I'm more annoyed at myself for letting him get to me so much.

“What is your problem?” He asks, obviously irritated, moving over to where I'm standing

“Nothing” I say, sounding so defensive it's almost frightening.

“Bullshit!” He throws back.

“Is not” I mumble, and turn away from him. When he speaks again, I'm surprised to feel his breath on my neck.

“You're sending me mixed signals here” He breathes and I hold my own breath. He's never been so close to me before.

“I don't know what you mean” I lie, but he just chuckles softly

“Stupid doesn't suit you honey, why don't you stop pretending” I let out a hollow laugh.

“We both know you've been flirting with me” He slides his hands onto my waist, and my heart goes crazy. But I have to keep my cool. I can't let him see me so weak.

“Don't flatter yourself” I whisper, as he moves right behind me, his cheek brushing mine.

“I'm not. I was flirting with you too” He kisses my temple softly, seductively. I close my eyes, and almost sink into his arms. But the alarm bells go off, as I feel his hair drip onto my collar bone.

“No, I can't do this” I push him back and move away, shaking my head.

“Alex...You're his best friend” I stutter, he seems uncaring and smiles slightly

“He doesn't need to know” He whispers, dangerously, sliding his arm around my waist, but my conscience is on top form today

“No, Jack, I can't” I push his arm away, and just in time too. The footsteps approaching are Rian's.

“You pumped for the show dude? Should be a good one!” He's holding his drumsticks, and taps them on the table excitedly.

“Yeah man, should be awesome” Jack is still looking at me, a slight smile still present on his face. And now Alex is back downstairs, along with Zack, Matt, Danny and Evan. I notice Alex from across the bus. He motions at his face, and I force a smile, which gets the thumbs up of approval.

“Right guys lets move for sound check” Flyzik waves a hand for them to move. As Jack passes me, he winks, and I can't help myself. My mouth curves into a girlish grin. This seems to satisfy him greatly, and I mutter “D****t” under my breath. I don't want him thinking he has anything over me.

“You coming then?” Alex asks, patting me on the shoulder.

“Yup” I turn to go away, but he pulls me back

“Are you alright now though?” he looks really concerned and I laugh a little

“Yes, I promise, Lex, honest”

“Alright, I just...You know I worry about you” He says, blushing slightly. Just like Alex to be embarrassed of his own feelings.  

Reviews

[Theresa]

good work, can't wait to read more

[afra]

another great write