Blood and Flowers.

This is special to me, so please be kind.

Your face flitters in and out of my mind, absently. I push it out, I just can't deal with the distraction today. Neither that nor the pain. I carry on staring at the posters on the wall, studying the words as intricately as I can. I feel my foot twitch impatiently and my leg begins to shake nervously. I've been waiting for ten minutes now. On any other visit, I would just suck it up and not bother, but today, I need to get it over with. I raise my head away from the wall as the nurse calls on me. She leads me through the dreary hallway to a small room, filled with different medical tools. I'm told to sit on the bed, and I oblige. My stomach is rolling about in panic, a lingering terror that sickens me. The nurse is neither friendly nor gentle as she pounds the needle into my arm. I feel the nauseating feeling rising with every second the syringe is inside my skin. Needles have always unsettled me, but it was the first time I'd had blood taken before, and I have to say, I hoped it would be my last.

 My mind wanders for only a moment, trying to steer clear of looking at the scene of horror, and somehow in that tiny moment, you appear, a vision in my mind. I don't know why you've been so prominently in my mind today. Sometimes you just come back to visit the unearthed corners of my mind, taking me by surprise. Mostly, I like it when this happens, I can reminisce happily, skipping nonchalantly through our memories, smiling to myself. Other times, though, like today, when my emotions are on edge and my nerves are battered, your image is a breaking point and I find myself pushing you out of my mind, trying to keep myself calm. I feel a pinch and I crash back down to earth seeing the nurse removing the needle from my arm, cleaning it up. I swallow, pushing my vomit back. I feel light headed and I don't really want to move, but she's giving me a look after saying I can leave. Legs like jelly and head like mince, I walk from the room. I can barely carry myself. I know the results won't be anything bad. I've been feeling unwell, but I know it's nothing serious. I'm just relieved now to have the worst part over. Still you dance around my mind, not letting me push you away. 

I sit in the gardens across from the Doctors. You always loved it here, and since you won't leave my mind I thought I might as well embrace your presence. I can almost feel you next to me as I sit, smiling at the different colours splashed around the flower beds. I don't need to do anything, just sitting there is enough to relax me. I feel like a child again with not a care in the world. I look at the seemingly empty space beside me, smiling. I can sit back now, inhaling the smell of the grass and flowers. It's almost euphoric. The day is beautiful and I feel once more, at ease, knowing you will always be right next to me, even on my worst days.

Reviews

[quixotic_rose]

This is beautiful and so full of emotion. I feel like I've been in this sort of situation before, not the exact same thing but with a different fear and feeling a different presence. Very expressive, loved it!

[Owlgirl]

Oh. My. Gosh. This is beautiful. I love it. The emotions, the imagery, the sensations, I felt like I was right there with her/him, experiencing the same things, living through their eyes. Great job. This is amazing. You should be published. I am adding this to my favorites.

[Theresa]

This touched me deeply. I could really feel the emotions of the character and I wanted to cry for her or him. I could really see this as part of a novel. It's well worded and just mysterious enough that a reader would want more. Well done!