For You

I wrote this a good few years ago now, so it's a bit rough but I was proud of it at the time.

For you,

I'd walk a thousand miles on broken glass

Just to be in your arms someday

For you,

I'd take the pain of a thousand knives

just to know I'd feel your touch one day

For you,

I'd brave the treacherous Everest 

Just to see your face again

For you,

I truly would do anything at all

because in your absence I go insane

Reviews

[Lunny]

for me the rhythm is off-first part is good but then it doesn't suit e.g.I'd walk a thousand miles on broken glass - okay
Just to be in your arms someday - off
but it's good, repetitive, obviously, nothing special.

[Beck Louise]

thanks. I do agree with your comments, not my best work, however I do think you could have been more constructive. "Nothing special" slightly nasty, no need at all.

[Lunny]

sorry

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

I disagree that it's sloppy, since that's not the case. Since you put every situation together very well making it easier to read and more interesting! I must say I love this piece and it's wonderful. Nothing wrong with it actually. I've felt like this about a guy once or twice before, as if I'd do anything in the world for him. That's how any person feels when they're in love anyway! Haha. Great job! :D

Ashley Rivers-- your friend ;)

[Ian H Morrison]

love it well done just the style of poetry that is right up my street

[eighwoeifj]

Very thoughtful, although sloppy. Like they're four pieces from four different puzzles, but the images are similar. I like rhyme and rhythm in poetry. In my opinion, it makes it easier to follow. It's wonderful, but needs some work.

[Beck Louise]

Thanks for the review, though I must, respectfully, disagree. I think "Sloppy" Is slightly harsh, and each stanza is about the same situation, so I don't really understand why they would look like they are from different pieces, however I shall review it at a later point and see if I think it needs to be edited. Anyway, thanks again, appreciate the review.

[eighwoeifj]

I don't mean to be harsh. I don't mean sloppy like it's a mess that can't be saved. The rhythm just seems unstable to me.

[Beck Louise]

No, I understand what you meant, I just have to disagree, but I appreciate the constructive criticism, rather that than a lie haha

[eighwoeifj]

Alright. We can agree to disagree. Hah.

[Ian H Morrison]

i would not call it sloppy at all it is a wonderful short peice that gives of an imageery that is as stark as it is real love it so much and defo. not sloppy

[eighwoeifj]

It's just my opinion. Everyone's got their own.

[Ian H Morrison]

very true

[quarintine_deathangel]

Cute, sweet and strong, great job in expression with so few words ^.^

[Beck Louise]

Thanks a lot :)

[quarintine_deathangel]

Welcome ^.

[Crazy Cat Man]

nice short piece. :)

[Beck Louise]

Cheers :)

[Owlgirl]

Wow! That's great! Beautiful!

[Beck Louise]

Thank you :D

[ewest1220]

Love it! Very well done!

[Beck Louise]

Thanks a lot :)

[Olivia Marie]

Sweet :) I can feel the love in this. Nicely written :)

[Beck Louise]

I hoped it might have that effect, thank you :)

[Theresa]

ahhh, what we do for love. Very sweet! Nice job!

[Beck Louise]

Tell me about it haha, thank you :)