Feeling of emptyness

A Poem by Rayin

based on Linkin Park video

Emptyness
Lonely
Destroyed
Defeated
_________________________________________________________
"Why"
_________________________________________________________
Standing on the long water bridge the bag hoisted on your back
papers and paintings that rustle in the breeze alone you walk
the night crawls away as the sun shines over the shimmering urban
horizon, the reflection of the water that ripples below you burning deep
into your eyes
a tear slowly crawls down your cheek,
empty
noone standing beside you to holdster you and protect you from the pain
that smacks on day by day...
Distracted in lectures you sit on the front row
your mind in another universe, another time while you naturally push pencil to
paper
etching all that your mind sees, a statue of a mother its stone face sadness carved
into its stony complextion its arms reaching out as if something is missing
your feelings contrasted onto the thick card that you patternise with pencil etchings.

Laughter arises around you as the lecturer points his long wooden stick at you
bewildered by his actions you forget your situation and your topic
as all you hear is laughter and mockery echo around the circular room.
Your emotions ripped from under your arm and so innocently torn into pieces
and as always you conceal your anger.
The bell rings loudly across the walls, and everything becomes a blur
movement passing you at every second, snears of cruelty become small distant
specks on your eyelids that you slowly bat up and down while you shift all that you have pictures and pencils from the desk...

Slowly you make your decent down the long metal stairs people barging by you
not caring, finally you are whacked to the floor, your journey ends quickly as everything sprawls onto the floor, and once again everything is a blur
but even so no hand of kindness offered, noone there to pick you up in your time
of need, for a friend for a cure to the aching loneliness that riddles through your
empty soul. It was as if you were invisible to the world
Noone cared and noone wanted to seem interested.

Outside, you sit down on a cold wooden bench a false smile faked as your long black hair passes over your shoulders, the other inhabitants put on smiles of
embarrassment as they pick there bags up and walk off, joining the passing blur...
now your friends have left and you are alone once more, there was or ever will be a cure for this pain...
you sit and turn your face towards the courts as you lean against the cold brick wall
watching as the blur passes by not even faces could be depicted from the
mass.
Even when you walk everything is a daze, as you watch the clouds
the last living thing that was not destroyed by humanity and its filth...
the clouds roll across a orange filled sky the blue slowly turning warm but no longer
does it make you smile, for no more do you find happiness in the warm rich colour
of the near night sky.

Sitting in your room, you stroke your arm, cuts and marks illuminated by the dim light bulb that shines in the corner of the room as it fights the dark shadows that
trespass the corners of the gothic candle lit room, the patterns almost humming of the walls, slowly you drag a small shining blade across the skinniness of your arm
no flicker of emotion passing your face as red blood blotched from the deep gashes
that are left. then you tie your long fair hair back into a bundle and standing infront
of yet another piece of card you drag a paintbrush lightly across your arm and
swaying from left to right, the brown colour slowly revealing itself as the still
blood dryed a weird shaped 'A' is left on the page.

Then finally you fall to your knees, tears forming in your eyes as you wail
out for a savior from the horrible smothering darkness that sucks you thin and
riddled.
The night sky finally arives and you once again, like the night before, and the night after you curl into a ball under your dark and heavy bed covers and whisper out,
before slowly falling into a nightmare shaking sleep...
____________________________________________________________
"Why"
____________________________________________________________
Once again
____________________________________________________________
Standing on the long water bridge the bag hoisted on your back
papers and paintings that rustle in the breeze alone you walk
the night crawls away as the sun shines over the shimmering urban
horizon, the reflection of the water that ripples below you burning deep
into your eyes
a tear slowly crawls down your cheek,
empty .....