Nicki Minaj Has a Fat A*s

I listen to people express

how a big booty equals no self respect

and how proper it should be to hide under a mask of modesty

In order to fit a dress of double standards,

dictated by society.

and as the dress falls over my shoulders,

You cut apart my body like the shards of a cracked mirror,

You hack at my lips, hair, and my thighs 

and ask me why I frown and I sigh

as I wear this dress through school hallways

as I flip the European weave out of my sweaty face 

The dress collar feels tight around my neck

my head heavy with shame because I had sex

So I stay quiet until I'm sick or pregnant

and cry like a baby that is in my stomach. 

The dress feels tight against my skin

as you scream THOT or w***e through my windowpane

like sex can't be as natural as rain

nurturing flowers on their way to sprout.

Instead you'd rather a drought

to appease an invisible man in the sky

in order for me to be devout as Ophelia's dead eyes. 

You carve into my skin with your words a scarlet letter

and how I can behave as a good girl better.

I tear off this dress when I assert I am a woman with needs

and will do with my body what I please

Instead of beating into me a belt of Chasity

why not tell me to take ownership of my body-

to claim it and explore with it as if setting for sail 

raise my flag and hold onto every detail. 

I will shake my a*s if I want

because it's mine to conserve or flaunt

Isn't this a part of being free? 

Getting to decide if sex will mean something or nothing

does not make me a w***e or THOT or a s**t, 

it makes me a human being.

Author's Note

Sooo, I think sexuality is something that is brushed under the rug in the African American culture. I feel like often there's someone telling me to be chaste to be respectable to people outside my culture or to a black man, but that's not wise or an act of liberation. Black woman should be able to have sex without being called a whore. A whore in older times used to be someone who was dishonest. I feel like black girls as well as any girl really should be taught safe sex and to be encouraged to talk about it with their parents because as everyone should know screaming abstinence does not help rates of STDs or teen pregnancy.

I do recognize that I do not actually explore the title that much. I meant for this to do that.

THOT means That Hoe Over There. Ophelia is a reference to Shakespeare if anyone doesn't know.

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

I love this piece, for so many reasons. It addresses so many things -- as a curvy woman who will never have a small a*s, I hate hiding behind something that makes me look frumpy so I can be "respectable" -- we can't win. I read an article that said cleavage is out of style. So those of us who have it better cover it up. I have news for you, those high necked dresses make my tatas look bigger, not smaller! We all need to learn to respect each other and not cut each other down. Very thoughtful write.

[KCthelastboyscout]

I enjoy stories where I come in with one point of view and leave with another.this is a unique message to read and written in superb detail.wherever this was inside you I'm glad you shared it with us

[Chris Folio]

I absolutely loved reading this, there's not much I can say except your honesty and story telling is incredible.

[Einstein Noodle]

about your Author's Note .. i think that all parents who try, may find it difficult to discuss sex in an adult fashion with pre-teens (my opinion about the age) ..perhaps your experience gives you knowledge that in your "culture" it is even less addressed .. i think it is across the board ..i also have to disagree with you about teaching abstinence and what we attempt to gain from trying .. we will fail when held to any of the Ten Commandments (an easy reference) ;).. which is itself a powerful lesson .. sorry! how i do prattle on :}
your poem ....i agree with you it could have a better title ..for me your poem speaks to human weakness, guilty conscience, anger and rebellion all rolled into a "societal" pressure/"spiritual" pressure ...i feel the heat of your protagonists angst .. her struggle and her solution relateable to men and women .. its just that man can more easily walk away from an unwanted pregnancy .. thank you for bringing this important poem into the light .. if my own children were still children ..i think i would use it to open up the ball and encourage the discussion .. i wouldn't change anything at all in this poem ..it is heartfelt and so emotive as is ..i read straight through without a hitch ...nice to meet you .. i am
E. :)
ps barleygirl provided a link ... that's how i came to visit .. be well ..love and joy ..again i apologize for my very wordy review.

[KTizzle]

Thank you so much for dropping by and sharing your thoughts on the matter!

I recognize sexuality is a topic that can span all cultures, but I decided to speak to the African American community because black women are the ones that suffer the most from this topic I believe because they must confront biases from black men, white men, and white women who cut out standards for her. Singling out the African American community does not negate the experiences of another, but I won't hide that this is towards black women who I feel are not quite as free as others.

Just to be a little petty, the Ten Commandments says nothing about twerking ;) but your point of view is colored by a strong conviction, rooted in Christianity. I could provide you with statistics to show you how ineffective abstinence programs are, how high rates of teen pregnancy/STDS and how they differ, and information about censorship regarding sexuality, but it probably won't do anything to someone who is intent on believing what they want.

Men being able to walk away more easily from an unwanted pregnancy does not justify a damn thing.

I am glad this would be a great conversation starter for your children. That was its intended purpose so I am a happy lady.

No no, I love wordy reviews.

[KTizzle]

(edit) African American culture may have the same issues, but to the degree they deal with it is most of the time different that I wanted to highlight.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you for your response Jazz. it is heartening when open discussions are sparked by poems and stories shared here at the cafe. you are correct when you sense i have a strong faith in Jesus ..i am well aware of statistics for abstinence vs birth control .. no one has abstained ;) its the crux of our shared need for forgiveness (if you will) trying to "be good" or work our way to spiritual perfection and failing is given .. but i believe you know all the "rest of that story" .. ;) i think it was during the middle ages and the Renaissance that big women were considered very desirable ..my tab thing is not working or i would check it out for sure .. but many great works of art and sculpture are of women with beautiful booties :) kind of interesting ... in contrast we have Barbie .. and pretty much every young lady growing up was dismal for failing to live up to that one .. i am off to read some more of your poetry Jazz .. i am so glad to get to know you
E.

[D Connolly]

"You cut apart my body like the shards of a cracked mirror, you hack at my lips, hair and my thighs" THIS is a great line. Have you ever noticed that women, by standard, are the sum of their PARTS? We have "a*s men", "leg men", eyebrows on fleek... but when will we ever be more than just a piece or part of a whole? Have you ever noticed an advertisement; women are literally shown in pieces. An arm, a leg, lips... we are rarely shown as a whole, and when we are it's like a cartoon character. They stand us in ridiculous poses, childlike and demure or waiting to be dominated. And when we DO claim dominion over this THING, this BODY of ours, well we might as well start a riot. They call us names for it, because having a woman claim herself, well, that's just f-ing TERRIFYING. What will she do with such a powerful weapon? Will she use it against us? A frightful situation, indeed.
I love the conversation you're starting here.

[KTizzle]

Wow! That is so true! I didn't think of it that way. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!

[FIN]

Hahah I love the both of you.

Nothing is more powerful than a woman (except a mother); that's why when I write about some aspects of divinity or my saviors it's usually depicting a woman or God in female form (as a Goddess).

This opening up of dialog brings a smile upon my face—literally.

I love it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

women have just as much right to act on their sexual needs....when men do it, it seems considered normal...when women do...well you have shown that very clearly in your poem that deals with that ridiculous double standard.

i like the speaker's attitude in this...kind of "in your face" and reminds me of an old Turtles' song that went like this.."i am what i am and that's all i ever can be...don't try to change me, or rearrange me to satisfy the selfishness in you---"

etc.

i was cheering while reading this.

[Cahjli Symes]

Finally a poem about the hypocrisy of sexual double standards. You make a great point that just because a woman has a desire or sexual need doesn't mean they are a s**t, thot or hoe. We're all humans lol

[KTizzle]

This person gets it lol

[barleygirl]

You've made your point painstakingly clear here. This poem seems to reflect the same lack of acceptance that may have prompted it. It's like we're all mis-reading each other's points of view & taking offense about it. There are good reasons for wanting more modesty, just as there are good reasons for wanting to shake your booty. I wish we women weren't seemingly "at war" with each other about this stuff. Sorry about getting on my soapbox a minute. This makes me want to write a rebuttal poem . . . we'll see if it happens. In the meantime, I'm sure you've expressed the views of many women who feel this way (or who have ever felt this way) with much intensity.

[KTizzle]

Thanks for your thoughts! Gives me more to maybe include in the poem. I just feel like women shouldn't be taught to fear sex, but to decide for themselves if it's meaningful or not and to just be safe either way.

[KTizzle]

I'd love to see your rebuttal poem

[barleygirl]

I will definitely let you know if I come up with one! *wink! wink!* (((HUGS)))

[Pete]

this is very good. i like raw, honest writing that doesn't pull any punches - and this hits hard. very honest. puts it right out there - pun intended. nice job and great statement. i love the title.

[FIN]

This is very emotionally powerful; I can feel your passionate essence evoked, for this topic. Well done.

Question: "THOT" means...?

And: I'm not so pleased about that title. This poem has much more feeling contained within it than the title leads it to have.

[KTizzle]

Means that hoe over there. Its an urban saying. I should note that

[FIN]

Ah, I see. I figured it was something derogatory, just was not sure to which and or what extent.
read moreAh, I see. I figured it was something derogatory, just was not sure to which and or what extent.

Thank you for clarifying, Jazzy.