Clear as death

Bleakness seeps through cracked drapes

An ugly brown paired with an ugly life

Each stitch a regret of moments to come

Inhabiting your mind with vigor and cruelty

 

Mutely, you lay between custard sheets

Limbs tucked close against the curves of your breasts

Chapped lips whisper intimate confessions

Damning you eternally without anguish

 

Oh how monotonous the day does appear

Lavish with endless routine tasks

Anchoring you to a world of confinement

Heavy they pull further beneath the surface

 

Deep blues arise from the ragged carpet

(Recall, you must ensure it’s cleaned next week)

Slowly, they surround you in a blanket of tranquility

Encasing your limp body in frigid waters

Now, darling are you finally able to sleep?

 

For years of exhaustion have left you with insomnia

Incurable it feeds upon once radiant intellect

Endlessly attacking final hopes of normalcy

Until you are left with nothing but chaotic sorrows

 

Stagnant before, your constitution now shakes

Violently it is thrown by overpowering waves

They sweep overhead leaving you in ecstasy

Just this once you are not in control

(Or perhaps you are for the very first time)

 

Let go.

          Let go.

                    Let go.

                              Let go.

                                       Let go.

 

However it is difficult surrendering to recurring desires

The water releases its calculated grasp

Placing your shell above a pine-scented duvet

Organized similar to that of a small package

 

Dread spills into the immaculate room

Stinging pale flesh with cuts above the heart

Ironically placed where you think a soul would reside

Another paradox in your inability to see light

 

Legs move steadily away from comfort

Upright now your feet brush the dry floor

Time again to tend to a dying world

Your duty as a woman to serve society  

 

Morning abandons shapeless homes

Life is but one long bitter sentiment

Forcing strained inhales and contracting lungs

Willing you to live in the darkest of hours

(Don’t fret my bird; we’ll meet again tomorrow)

 

(And maybe even the day after that) 

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think?

Reviews

[TheSweet]

This is very nicely written and does tell somewhat of a story, although as a reader I don't seem to be left with much. I do like some of the lines and the rhythm break up does work - gives it a kind of musicality.

...Hoping you don't take this at all harshly, all I'd say is that perhaps it feels you are trying to hard to reach depth in this piece - where these kinds of purple prose writings are good and can be done very well - but it takes a lot of time to perfect them. I'd recommend just trying to simplify and getting more comfortable with how you write in a more conventional tone - then you can slide into things like this, having learned where the metaphors are more powerful etc. It's all about learning yourself rather than assigning yourself you wrong kind of depth or other attributes, because it's the difference between standing out and not. Perhaps I am wrong - but is a simple mistake and it's the feeling I got. I hope this helps. :) Thanks for sharing.