Quiet Girls

 

ask the old man -

its the quiet girls ,

the ones you don't notice

 

she stopped   

on his corner in a spinning city 

twirling her silk umbrella

a rain drop carousel

of prismatic moments

 

life    

 

a secret in an oblivious world

the crowd moved around her

another stranger in a stranger land

she knew there was something more

 

beyond this night

 

she raised her chin

the spell of her icy eyes

quivering the sky

releasing diamonds from her mind

 

and the lightning struck

 

she chanted out loud , as he took notice

clock hands slowing  

street lights flickering 

blackness draping the rush of madness

they felt it  ...

 

Fear 

 

and she laughed  

"humanity bred in sin and greed

shouldn't mind this insidious weather"   

"artificial light , so easily replaced

especially for the human race "

 

and she looked around

having fought this battle 

so many times before

and thought how she probably will

so many times more 

she caught the old man nodding

as he looked up at the falling sky ,

and he turned and grinned

wide eyed and wondering

 

" Whats your name ? "  he politely asked

 

" Kali " she winked

 

and then burst into flame

a burning lotus 

upon the rising sea 

of chakras in the rain 

 

 

 

Author's Note

for Selene's "Poetry That Doesn't Suck" contest.

graphic credit - Woman Flame (Myspace Graphics)

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

wicked~ you captured imagery in motion~ a fluid reel spinning from the laughing mouth of endings on a fiery carnival ride ~ Kali has the best sense of wistful (and ok sometimes deadly) humor~ few capture it as well as in the tilty wink above~ =)~

[Tommy]

Wow Robin this is great, when I see this picture for some reason I see “Death,” or “Kali” as well, and you penned her nature so great in this, not vengeful, not gleeful, but just doing her job, like another day at work…I love it!

Great Write Man!
RLG,
Tommy

[Kerry O'Connor]

You have achieved a wonderful build up of tension, until the climactic reveal at the end. I loved the poem within a poem:

"humanity bred in sin and greed
shouldn't mind this insidious weather"
"artificial light , so easily replaced
especially for the human race "

[Wondering Mind]

Your references are always interesting (for lack of a better expression), Robin, and I doubt that anything you write would ever suck.

[JelliFyshKissUs]

You take a myth and spool its contents around your finger at will. An interwoven delight of ethereal birdie euphemisms mixed with the dangerous and inveigling goddess of neverending energy. I humbly bow. What else can I do?

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

Very nicely done! The fact this was Kali based of course helps my view :-P
I love the way you mixed her darkness with the quiet beginning.

[Coyote Poetry]

Photo made the poem come alive. I like how you drew me into the story. I like the description of the girl and the very interesting departure. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Doreen]

This certainly does not suck. Wonderful story telling in a vivid poetic gem. I love the sentiment and wording, the overall aura. It's wonderful.