Quiet Girls

 

ask the old man -

its the quiet girls ,

the ones you don't notice

 

she stopped   

on his corner in a spinning city 

twirling her silk umbrella

a rain drop carousel

of prismatic moments

 

life    

 

a secret in an oblivious world

the crowd moved around her

another stranger in a stranger land

she knew there was something more

 

beyond this night

 

she raised her chin

the spell of her icy eyes

quivering the sky

releasing diamonds from her mind

 

and the lightning struck

 

she chanted out loud , as he took notice

clock hands slowing  

street lights flickering 

blackness draping the rush of madness

they felt it  ...

 

Fear 

 

and she laughed  

"humanity bred in sin and greed

shouldn't mind this insidious weather"   

"artificial light , so easily replaced

especially for the human race "

 

and she looked around

having fought this battle 

so many times before

and thought how she probably will

so many times more 

she caught the old man nodding

as he looked up at the falling sky ,

and he turned and grinned

wide eyed and wondering

 

" Whats your name ? "  he politely asked

 

" Kali " she winked

 

and then burst into flame

a burning lotus 

upon the rising sea 

of chakras in the rain 

 

 

 

Author's Note

for Selene's "Poetry That Doesn't Suck" contest.

graphic credit - Woman Flame (Myspace Graphics)

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

wicked~ you captured imagery in motion~ a fluid reel spinning from the laughing mouth of endings on a fiery carnival ride ~ Kali has the best sense of wistful (and ok sometimes deadly) humor~ few capture it as well as in the tilty wink above~ =)~

[zig]

"she chanted out loud , as he took notice

clock hands slowing

street lights flickering

blackness draping the rush of madness

they felt it ..."


i really like this. there are some moments, some encounters, that occur here in the real world, in our nomal day to day, moments and or encounters that feel so dreamlike and unreal, sometimes our minds cant accept and at the same time refuse to let go of they. they need to be celebrated. you did a great job of creating that in this poem. that my take on it anyway. really enjoyed reading this.

zig

[Joiedevivre]

the goddess of love in one of her many guises :) shhhh.... quiet or the magic might break. Gorgeous Robin.

[Bare Bohemian]

Gotta watch out for them quiet ones.

[Lilly Negoi]

who said "quiet" meant "silent"? :)...your quiet girl here speaks volumes Robin...splendid!

[Judy Ponceby]

wow! fantastic imagery, beautifully written.

[Time.]

I love this! You had me captured in the first stanza.. Love your writing.

[A.A.Romanczuk]

Oh my...that was...glorious...I wasn't expecting the Kali part at all...like Kali herself - it just burst out at me - the building energy of the poem and then catharsis...simply gorgeous

[E.H. Monroe]

Hey here's an idea. lets write two f*****g poems inside each other and add in a massive life lesson and allusion.

Share the baptismal font you b*****d..the rest of us want a hit of galaxy smoke.

Anyway,

I picture you in a paused scene of life...Inception style, giving us, the audeince, the moving play by play of what is really going on thats more beautiful than the moments of random life itself.
THEN i read
"Life beyond this night and the lightning struck. Fear."
The italicized pieces tell the whole f*****g poem and you seemingly put it out there for someone to see.
She set it up didnt she? Put the whole damn thing in motiona nd then left why? Because she did exactly what she needed to do . A gentle reminder about the quiet girls who set for to life, fear, or the heart.
I'm not even allowed on your poetic planet..

[Crowley]

I didn't know Selene hd a contest...I so suck. The nature of the quiet ones when they burst into full regala singing songs of the underestimated and overlooked, and many of us paying the price of inattention. Very cool stuff Robin...loved it.