Midnight Ink

 

 

midnight through venetian blinds

 

the city murmurs below 

 

your bed of satin dreams

 

a red candlelit shrine

 

our naked prelude 

 

my fingertips trace your spine 

 

 

slowly  ...

 

 

caressing each moment

 

a velvet whisper

 

you lean into me

 

and a sliver of light

 

catches my breath

 

prismatic 

 

radiant  

 

a cascade of midnight ink 

 

flowing through your eyes

 

ethereal

 

indelible

 

bliss ~

Reviews

[Zoe Jay]

Vivid from the outset. "Midnight through venetian blinds" sets the tone perfectly - atmospheric, romantic, urban, a juxtaposition of simple nature and simple utilitarianism. Soft, breathy sounds throughout capture the feel, plenty of sibilance and short syllables capture the soft, intimate, growing excitement, we feel you close, your breath starting to accelerate, softly, with excitement... the tension is built beautifully, but delicately in this poem, it has loads of feel. This is a poem about anticipation, and the reader feels it ;-)

[duddbudda]

fingetips and spine are cliche'
velvet whisper is not; velvet whisper is excellent imagery, as is midnight ink
doesn't sound too ethereal to me, especially since it's so 'indelible'
the tilda indicates to me a kind of 'meh, kinda' impression i don't get with the rest of the piece, and i'd like it to go,
cheers

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Robin, this took my breath away......especially my fingertips trace your spine.....pause.......slowly....wow!

[Tommy]

Oh Robin, you old romantic :) I love this, what an expression of passion.

This couplet here:

"a cascade of midnight ink
flowing through your eyes"

I so love the inspiration found in these words!

Great Write!
RLG,
Tommy

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

You have written my review for this soft and romantic poem of passion-

ethereal
indelible
bliss-

Chloe

[Moonflower]

This was the very epitome of the breathless, intoxicating moonlit essence of a gentle, loving swoon. Incredible, darling.

[Wallflower]

I always say that my muses surface when the moon rises, there is something about the night that makes me just want to forget everything and let my mind float off to a more familiar, blissful place...this whole piece is beautiful, but a few lines really tug at my affections...

"our naked prelude/my fingertips trace your spine"
places me under the moonlight with a crisp notebook, holding it shut on my lap, running my fingertips down its spine. It is a naked prelude, I expose my self to those blank pages just as their white nakedness presents itself to me.

"a velvet whisper/you lean into me"
I just sigh at that line, incredible imagery. I hear the velvet whisper of pages falling open and i see that book in my hands on my lap, with thumbs facing up i pull it from its resting position and it "leans into me"

"a sliver of light catches my breath"
takes me back to the first line, moonlight streaming in from the venetian blinds reflecting off of the pages of the book.

"a cascade of midnight ink/flowing through your eyes"
books kind of look like eyes when they're open, staring up at you as you stare back at them.
The cascade of midnight ink, however, i feel torn between whether the ink was already there or whether i am the motion behind the cascade because of this word....

"Indelible" many pieces of writing--stories, poetry, philosophy--have written upon me and made their mark perhaps more profoundly and permanently than my pen makes on a blank pages.

Thoroughly enjoyed this :)

[Crowley]

I think the last three lines sum this one up for me....great writing Robin.

[just rose.]

the ending is like pulling away from a kiss. beautiful.

[Sethnicity]

Ahhh That so Good... I want to stay in that place! wonderfully written...
You get a 90... because I wish it was Longer ;)

[C]

Shiveringly wonderful.