Silent

 

 

I stood there,silent

 

and I found my messiah

 

he was deep inside

 

 

Reviews

[Dream Weaver]

Amen Brother!

[Narnie]

I can see you have the 5,7,5 going on but I wonder what value there is in the 'he was' on the third line. Pedants would say that it would require punctuation to seperate as you have not continued the sentence. If you change he to who, or if you find two extra beats with deep inside, silent. to reverse the first line and bring it full circle - or go for simplicity and rhythm pattern be damned by leaving it out altogether with just a 'deep inside'.
As far as the thought goes, I whoop from the rooftop. I believe that our intuition is what should guide us and should be our trust to knowing that we have been given the tools, either by nature or by God if you prefer, to live our lives in the way that is right, fair and good. And it is wonderful to see this acknowledgement which no doubt will inspire so many others, Robin.

[Marie Harrison]

Wow, you can read this several different ways!

[Kerry O'Connor]

If we don't save ourselves, no one is going to do it for us...

[Ladysue]

Very powerful discovery expressed in three lines...not easy to do..excellent...

[Lilly Negoi]

we are indeed our own redeemers :). but one must have enough patience to let silence blossom :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful 12 words. Sometime we need peace and quiet to learn the real truth. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[OT]

great sentiments through so few words as only you can do! great stuff!!

[Crowley]

deep inside what? lol....just kidding. The glory of enlightemnet through silence and and the giving up of control. Great message.