Landmine

From one to another, I do not learn. . .

The war may be over
But the battle fields have not been cleared
There is still landmines buried here
And you tripped one today

My newly established defenses
Still have weakness
Ones the enemy can use to sneak right in
And boy have you
Set up camp right in my capitol

Dictating orders
Playing with my child
Now its either
Work with you
Or this “relationship” will perish

The worst of this
Is these weaknesses
I was well aware of
But hold no extra troops
To rally and defend

I let you in to destroy me
Secretly
I’m mad I won the war
I wanted to go out in glory
I wanted to struggle to survive
And lose

Without the constant strategizing
Now I don’t know
How to exist
So I had to let another
Enemy in
Under the guise of an ally

An Ally that
Is not exclusive
All ready engaged in battles of your own
I knew I knew what I was getting into
The reason the same as
Why I fought a war so long
When all I had to do was leave

I want to be a union
I want companionship
To reminisce, compare battle scars
Like old men at a bar speaking of better days
I needed someone who knew the same

So I let you in
Consciously gave of myself
But, there is always survival mechanisms
the involuntary, unplanned defenses
Those landmines are still here
And you tripped one today.

When at war I was ready
Armored , now “at peace”
You’re mishap hurt me
where he failed to break me
You could very well succeed.

Author's Note

Um, well got out of an abusive relationship into an unhealthy one. . .actually like this poem, really unfortunate i write better when depressed. . .
edit: added the last stanza. . .

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

Part of me thinks these are the words of an aging Sgt. Major and another part feels it comes from an artist whom misses one person. The jump of images is brilliant.

[The Cougar's Den]

I let you in to destroy me
Secretly
I’m mad I won the war
I wanted to go out in glory
I wanted to struggle to survive
And lose ------ I have so felt this before!

I want to be a union
I want companionship
To reminisce, compare battle scars
Like old men at a bar speaking of better days
I needed someone who knew the same ----- So close to home....

Write it out of you....Gain power by doing so. He can't hurt you anymore. Whatever physical will heal well before whatever mental...Don't look for answers too soon, and be wary of whose advice you take. Advice is a form of nostalgia that's been taken from the trash and recycled.

Keep writing, and get alligators for the moat you'll wind up with around your heart, although personally I recommend crocodiles because they're much more vicious....;)

[theunionisloud]

Sorry this had to happen to you, but if it's any conciliation, you made a great poem of it. A lot of emotion.. I can tell you've thought an awful lot about it.