Quietus

Today is my moms birthday. 1964-2013.

Today, as the clock strikes twelve, 

I am thrust through starlight and nebulas 

back to an era long since past, 

where freedom rang from the sky above 

and your voice was the very foundation beneath my feet, 

your long, slim fingers grasped my hands, 

lifting me from perdition into light, 

again I am swept away into memory, 

as once again you lifted me up, 

instead in this moment it was to cheers 

and tears fell down your cheeks in pride, 

violently I am ripped from peace, I remember, 

the consistent clicking of machines and staff scurrying by, 

anxious, waiting, pacing, 

then relief so brief filled my heart as yours continued on, 

but in finality, I stumble into the darkness, 

 your heartbeat beating on so slowly 

that I felt mine would stop if a moment of silence passed, 

and suddenly I am choking, I am pleading for air and life 

while reaching for those long, slim fingers that once lifted me up, 

I crash, and I am fallen.

by Brittany Zedalis in Dead Snakes Poetry 

Author's Note

http://deadsnakes.blogspot.com/2015/07/brittany-zedalis-two-poems.html

Reviews

[Nila M.]

I really love how you used the images of space and stars to evoke a sense that we have a very particular point in time in which we exist. At least that's how I felt reading it. As if it's difficult for souls that long for the eternal to exist through these temporary situations. I found this very well written and definitely expressing emotion.

[Brittany Zedalis]

Thank you so much! This is a hugely important poem to me. I wrote it on my mother's most recent birthday in memory of her.

[Nila M.]

Very well done, and very touching.

[Brian]

...where freedom rang from he sky above...

Dig that line quite a bit. It just really breaks from the peaceful nebula transitioning to a sort of loud adornment.

[Brittany Zedalis]

Yeah, I like that line too, haha. Thank you, Brian.

[Brian]

I would hope you do, lol. :)

[Jennie Baron]

I'm also so sorry for your loss, and I'm sure the grief is still so raw and fresh. You've expressed it in such lovely images. A poem like this inevitably evokes in the reader losses they've experienced in their own life; I thought of my mom, whom I also lost way too early. Splendid writing!

[Brittany Zedalis]

I'm sorry for your loss as well. My mom died very suddenly. She was told she had at least a year left, and within a month of being told that she was gone.

[KWP]

wow - just wow - a very beautifully articulated piece - well done X

[Brittany Zedalis]

Much appreciated, fellow writer.

[Perdition]

Good night for a truck..a long night drive to the country stars …music lightly in the background then a bottle of whiskey to sit back and drink with the starlight. Sleeping bags so you won't need to drive back.
Perhaps a guitar as well! You have a voice and it seeps out a very good righteous pain. It is good to hear it…very setting for the soul in infinite ways…SO THERE!

[Brittany Zedalis]

Yeah, that sounds pretty good to me.
Thank you so much for reading and leaving a response. Your responses never disappoint me.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Oh, my this is sad. I'm so sorry, Luna! Hugs. No child or parent should ever have to go through this. You've written a masterfully compelling portrait of this woman, a cherished vault of memories, and the caring, loving tenderness with which she raised you into the sunlight. Great job, my friend. :)

[Brittany Zedalis]

Yeah, it was really hard and continues to be an ongoing struggle. You never really get over losing a parent, I've discovered. Thank you for dropping by.

[Lydia Shutter]

Heartfelt emotion throughout this write. You obviously were very close with your mom. I know what it is like to miss someone like this....you feel it in your very core. You feel like the person's death took part of you too. Your security is gone, your reason for being....oh, yes, I understand and I am sorry for your loss. Just beautiful. Lydi**

[Brittany Zedalis]

Yes, she was like my best friend throughout my entire life. Thank you very much for reading this, Lydia. It means a lot.

[Woody]

I know I am a softie. this really touched me to my core. I feel for you Luna.
beautifully written. may she rest in peace.

[Brittany Zedalis]

Thank you so much, Woody.

[Richard]

I really liked this :)
just was really good

[Brittany Zedalis]

Thank you, Richard.

[Richard]

You're Welcome, Luna