Electric Mind

Just a quick one that I had to write down.

Electricity flowing through

Intoxicated veins,

I wait, and ponder,

Over life’s simplicities, and the dreams

That burn and burst through

Our constantly wandering souls,

The cracked ground beneath

Our feet, dry and barren,

But in the distance,

A spark

by Brittany Zedalis in Dead Snakes Poetry 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Jesse Gonzalez]

I can kind of see where you're coming from. I understand it like this, and please correct me if I'm wrong. You're confused over the simple things in life and the things that don't make sense. Its like your soul is wandering aimlessly and it feels like there is nothing on this earth that can set you free from the prison you're in. You can almost taste your freedom, but its just so far away and your mind is fading farther and farther away from reasoning and reality. I'm probably wrong, but that's what I am getting out of it. Let me know!

[Brittany Zedalis]

You're pretty much spot on (: I wrote this during a time when my life took a turn into a direction I hadn't been expecting to go and I was feeling pretty lost and confused.

[The Analog Kid]

Love the short form. I am a fan of this myself.

"But in the distance/a spark..."

Always good to see a spark on the horizon :)

[Brittany Zedalis]

I agree. Thank you for stopping by :)

[Jennie Baron]

Quick but very powerful indeed. This is great on its own, but I too am torn about whether you could add anything to "complete" it. As is, it does end on an intriguing note that sparks the imagination. Your writing style is still wonderful.

[Brittany Zedalis]

Thank you so much, Jennie.

[Sid]

A nice and upbeat piece.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. You are blowing us away by your poems. The title, the text and the meanings are all powerful as electricity...Bravo...:).......

[Brittany Zedalis]

Thanks! After my year long hiatus, I'm glad to be back and writing.

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. So true. Welcome back...:)....

[KWP]

nice little thought pattern here - it seems the spark always comes right when we need it xxx

[Brittany Zedalis]

That it does, that it does. Thank you for dropping in. ^-^

[Perdition]

Add..build…tune…inspire..above all ALWAYS continue the process and discipline(madness…lol) and understanding what you are writing actually adds even more inspiration. In this case energy.. Watts being power and voltage being the current or force as in the water within a pipe. I guess what I'm trying to say is a very Sat. way is that when you write anything it can be mind altering if you dig into the works and depths that come from understanding what you are writing …there are currents that amaze. Seems like you already understand a good deal. I think your voice, as in all art will come in time and in a very surprising moment, until then these poems help to engage the cog. I liked it. This time the veins were intoxicated…hmmm? Literally or figuratively? Wait a sec?? Am I awake??? : )

[Brittany Zedalis]

Sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively. I hope you're awake, for if you're not then neither am I, in which case insanity must be creeping in. Haha. Your reviews never disappoint me. I'm glad you enjoyed this.

[Perdition]

Oh..it's crept in already and it brought cheese and wooden floors with it, The higher question here; which one to eat?? Actually that can' t be right? Well, I remember writing for hours last night and yet I have no idea where the poem wound up?? Tulsa maybe?

[Brittany Zedalis]

Oh dear, you better find it.

[Mars Bear]

Some great language used here. Really grabs the reader. Enjoyed this greatly.
Loved how you ended on "spark" to mirror opening with "electricity".

[Brittany Zedalis]

Thank you, Mars! :)

[Bright Ocean Star]

Luna, I like this one so much! As a biology teacher, I'm always instructing my students that our entire beings are ruled by electrical charges across membranes, electro-chemical potentials maintained across those membranes. We are literally walking electrical charges. No wonder we make great Lightning rods! Thank you for this short, but excellent poem. Nice writing, my friend!

[Brittany Zedalis]

Well, I just learned something new today, haha. Thank you!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes...well, that spark is in the distance and the question is...will we make up that distance and get to the spark that will electrify our mind? or will we keep our distance out of fear of being electrocuted.
i swear sometimes i think my students are so afraid of thinking outside that box...afraid it will hurt.

[Brittany Zedalis]

You raise interesting questions. I think I would go for it, but many people are consumed with fear and don't. Thank you for dropping by, Jacob.

[dan]

Luna, Sometimes when I review a poem I can't really enumerate the reasons for which I love the piece, I just view it holistically as a dedicated entity and say something like this: Luna, this is one of the very best of yours that I've read. The flow to it, how it comes around full circle (first word...electricity; last 2 words...a spark) it's like a continuous loop of electrifying (sorry...) brilliance. Beautiful, simply beautiful. take care...dan

[Brittany Zedalis]

Wow, thank you! This response really makes my day.

[wordman]

as the power runs through my veins like ink on my canvas
I wait and ponder for the impulse

[Brittany Zedalis]

A poetic response; fitting. Thank you for reading. :)

[wordman]

you are welcome,