Child-Like Wonder

Just remember, let the memories flow.

Our eyes betray us

They are blind to the magic

And the wonder we had as children

It will never be as it used to be

We cannot dance with fairies

Or skip along with the elves

We cannot sing with mermaids

Or fly on the unicorns

We will never be able to lie in the flowers

As they sing us to sleep

Or dry the weeping willows tears

We will miss our dwarf friends

And all the trouble they got us in

Of course the brownie

Who always stole our toys

But we will never forget them

For as we sleep

They will still watch over us

And our children

They will have our adventures

With the fairies and their friends

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Beautiful!! Very nostalgic. This is one however that needs punctuation in order to follow the flow. Otherwise readers wouldn't understand how to read certain lines. Had to go back once I reached the end, for I had thought "They will still watch over us/And our children" was one thought, when it's actually two. The last line is therefore anticlimactic (and this time I can concretely explain why): the last line needs to have the most power, for it's the line you're leaving the readers with. Sure, "With the fairies and their friends" is a good line and it has power, but not enough to end this nostalgic rollercoaster. The way you're going with this requires the ride to end with the line expressing the passing of the torch. So the children will have "our" adventures how? Echo the first line: "when they open their eyes". The first line should therefore specify that it's the "grown-up" eyes or "adult" eyes that "betray us", and that's what sets the theme. (Also: "willows" should have an apostrophe - "willow's") You paint a wonderful world here, and I felt a part of it as I read it. Simply tweak those little factors, and this will become a genuine gem of a poem. Well done!!