In Bloom

With Glen Yumang Manese -creative consultant

Wooden fencing long decayed,
With what's left of faded paint
Cold steel gate swings open wide
A smell of death is faint

Flowers yellow, that once adorned,
Door has rot to brown
Grey crumpled leaves are only now,
One solace for the crown

On lifeless garden's ground,
laid roses,once were red.
Stood presently but a single tree,
Whose rusted remains bled

Hidden in the fog,
Cloaked by the mist,
No torch will shine,
from the divine,
Before it falls to the abyss

For the fruits are gone;
And the trunk lay hollow;
Long blown away;
Chirping songs of the Swallow

And spring is no longer;
But stay is the permafrost;
And maybe accompanying it,
In the dark,
A monument to innocence lost

Ah...wind is blowing
Hail is now so strong,
Weather of misfortune,
Plays a merry song

Author's Note

Reviews

[Trevor Barnett]

The eerie nature of a cold and quiet winter night. An excellent write Raymond!

[Jack...]

This took me there, to that dark cold weather beaten place via your wonderfully descriptive penning of this piece. I heard the hinges creak as the slowly opened and saw the debriss on the ground where beauty once lived. Very nicely done Raymond.

[Pryde Foltz]

Hidden in the fog,
Cloaked by the mist,
No torch will shine,
from the divine,
Before it falls to the abyss

I love the way you played around with the rhyme scheme. Here, I was reminded of dripping icicles.

[Bri]

Very nice picture you've painted. I do love winter but you've stripped it bare and told the world what it really is. Well done.

[R. L. Hill]

This is dark and eerie, my friend. I love it, of course. It also has a touch of sadness to its cadence that I feel is very effective.

[Blue]

Your family and friends called you Dark Dr. Seuss appropriately. You have a good writing style!

[prodicallife]

Dear Raymond,

Firstly, I would congratulate you for the versatile thought that you had behind the words.

You were able to take me through the exact journey that you had tried to plot in this.

I really liked this one although, a bit common topic but, you explained it in much different way.

Thanks for sharing.

Stay blessed
Prodical

[Praveeta]

"Ah...wind is blowing
Hail is now so strong,
Weather of misfortune,
Plays a merry song"

Poem with an Eerie feel.

[Baby Ricochet]

This poem has some good imagery as well as good meter and rhyme. Outstanding work sir!

[Raymond Federle]

Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. This poem was done as a metaphor for someone in the Autumn of their life, the waning years as it were. I was inspired to write this by Margot Benary-Isbert, who wrote: “Prayer of an Anonymous Abbess:

Lord, thou knowest better than myself that I am growing older and will soon be old. Keep me from becoming too talkative, and especially from the unfortunate habit of thinking that I must say something on every subject and at every opportunity.

Release me from the idea that I must straighten out other peoples' affairs. With my immense treasure of experience and wisdom, it seems a pity not to let everybody partake of it. But thou knowest, Lord, that in the end I will need a few friends.

Keep me from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point.

Grant me the patience to listen to the complaints of others; help me to endure them with charity. But seal my lips on my own aches and pains -- they increase with the increasing years and my inclination to recount them is also increasing.

I will not ask thee for improved memory, only for a little more humility and less self-assurance when my own memory doesn't agree with that of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be wrong.

Keep me reasonably gentle. I do not have the ambition to become a saint -- it is so hard to live with some of them -- but a harsh old person is one of the devil's masterpieces.

Make me sympathetic without being sentimental, helpful but not bossy. Let me discover merits where I had not expected them, and talents in people whom I had not thought to possess any. And, Lord, give me the grace to tell them so.

Amen”