Sullivan rides a bike. (Written as told to me by Sullivan.)

"Grandpa says 'The only thing we have to fear is fear' but fear don't come without training wheels, yeah I was pretty scared" - Sullivan

My bike had training wheels but Dad took them off.

I am a big boy now.

I was scared at first but Dad held onto me.

Then I was terrified cause Dad let go.

And then I said 'DAD!' really loud.

And you said 'WHAT?' really loud."

And then I screamed "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

I took a deep breath and screamed "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." again.

It was a really long hill.

I heard a crash and everything was dark.

I heard Grandpa say "Is the boy still alive?"

And I thought, what a silly boy to get killed on our hill.

I don't have anything to worry about because I am a head of cabbage.

But I don't like cabbage. It makes you fart. LOL

And you said "Bob...", that's Grandpa's other name, "I think we have a survivor. Are you ok Sully?"

I said "I am not a head of cabbage." You said "HUH?!?!" And I said "Yeah, that was fun but my balls hurt."

And you and Grandpa looked at me weird and we all started laughing.

We went home and had some hot chocolate.

I was ok and I was still Sullivan.

Author's Note

Reviews

[RealistMe]

LOL! This is a funny story poem. I would tweak a few things about it, though. I think you should rename your poem "Sullivan's Adrenaline Rush." ;) On the 3rd line in the 1st stanza, you don't need to put a space between on and to. It should be "onto." Next, instead of saying, "And then I said 'DAD!' really loud," it should be "I yelled, 'DAD! Then, he yelled back 'WHAT?!''" Also, change in the 2nd stanza, "You said 'HUH?!?!'" to being "You exclaimed, 'HUH?!?!'" You don't need to keep saying "And then I said" "And then you said." Remove the "And then." This way, your story poem should flow better. Anyway, good job on your poem. ;)

[Raymond Federle]

Oh sure I see all that. Typos happen. Sullivan tells me and I write it down how he says it or wants it. He asked about my poetry and he was afraid at first to try his own cause he didn't want to mess up or have it "be dumb" as he says. I told him "Sully, at this point in your life you can say stuff however you want. There isn't any right or wrong to poetry that you want to write. You just tell me and I'll put it down." I feel by leaving some of the imperfections there it adds the effect of hearing Sully explain stuff.... on his own terms. The thing is he's telling it to me as it happened to him and that's the way I wrote it down. Give him some time and he'll be actually typing his own verse. That will be interesting. But different strokes for different folks. lol Thanks for reading and the feedback. I'll tell Sully you like it. He's an awesome kid and seeing people read what he's says puts a HUGE smile on his face! :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Not sure if I would keep the LOLs in. I am torn because it is kind of annoying to those of us of a certain generation, however it is timely and topical at the same time.

[Judy]

Interesting - full of emotion - but this might have worked better as a prose piece. Nevertheless,I loved it for its tenderness = and yes it will be a great memory for Sullivan

[Ruth]

A changing experience lol
Memories and survival in one, nicely done!
x

[R. L. Hill]

[FlatLineBeauty]

This was cute. I enjoyed reading it. xo Winter

[Raymond Federle]

Thank you! :) There will be more Sullivan incoming soon I'm sure.