Tumbled away

There, falling through the cracks in my door are the lights of suicide.
What can you know of these, my dreams of pain and horror.
I cannot explain them to you.
I cannot explain them to myself.
I am because I need to feel.
I am not because I am not alive.
Passed over and tumbled away from what I want to be.
How I feel is none of your business.
What I feel, I share because I am inside you.
Your love cannot pass to me.
I cannot take it.
I have only myself to give.
There inside you.
Tumbled away.