Control

A poem about a dysfunctional relationship I had with one of my exes.He was very controlling,manipulative,abusive and a liar!

You told me what to wear,

How to style my hair.

You told me what I could do,

and where I could go.

You told me who my friends could be,

You made me betray my family.

You lied to me,

and you retained control.

You said that you would leave,

If I didn't listen to you.

You told me how to do things.

What I could and could not do.

You hid away behind your xbox control,

You liked to control the ones around you,like your game.

I really really tried to tame you,

But I failed.

I really should have bailed.

But you kidnapped my will,and we sailed away.

You wouldn't let me tell you how you made me feel,

It was too much of a ''big deal.''

You were so controlling it made me want to squeal!

I couldn't be myself.

You put me in chains.

Our relationship was full of pains.

For me, It always rained.

You tried to tie me up with all your lies,

And when I escaped,

You let out a few gasps and cries.

I tried to say ''goodbye.''

But I wasn't strong enough.

Our dysfunction was suffocating me.

You starved me of reality.

I stayed inside my box,

tied in chains.

And when I screamed ,

You turned off the lights and said ''Sweet Dreams.''

As if I were a pet canary.

Our Relationship was pretty scary.

You tried to manipulate me to do things.

Your serpents tongue grew wings.

You are an evil young man,

You do not control me.

You do not have control.

You can go away..

Leave me alone.

Take your s**t with you,

Make it go away.

The night you said ''It's over.''

I barely cried,

Because if I stayed with you,I surely would have died.

Author's Note

This is a poem about real events.I let myself be treated this way,never settle for less than what you deserve!!!! Please Review.Hope you enjoyed.

Reviews

[True Henry]

I will not lie. This is not your best work I've seen from you. A tad of angst here, particularly in the middle, though I liked your metaphor using the Xbox controller- takes the expression 'love is a game' to a whole new meaning. Stick to metaphors and the deeper meanings you've treated me to so far- be angry, rather than lamenting.

[Soul Fire]

Okay,thank you for your review.I really appreciate it.I wrote this to express the situation I once was in..Thanks so much for your review (:

[Crazy Cat Man]

I know a few women like this. they are stuck in a mentally abusive relationship and have a hard time letting go. i had to counsel one girl...she told me everything and i was in shock. Guys like that like to keep the girl in isolation. cut off from friends and family so they can be controlling. and ur poem describes everything my 2 friends went through. even forcing them to wear long dresses being extremely picky. its bizarre and my 2 friends are so desperate for love and marriage they take the abuse in hoping the guy will change but it makes things worse. the guy wont change and working it out means that girls ignore their man's flaws and be more submissive. well bravo for u to finally waking up. great poem.

[Soul Fire]

Thank you so much :D

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Like the reality...xbox reference etc...great :)

[Soul Fire]

Thank you

[Ali]

I think poetry should tell a story and give you a window into the poet's soul and from that point of view it works well. I felt enraged for you at the end. I do agree with the other reviewer about some of the rhyme. Poems don't have to ryhme and should not be forced but rather enhance and give further notice to what you are saying. However some worked, I particularly liked the imagery in "You tried to manipulate me to do things.
Your serpents tongue grew wings." Keep writing and I am very happy to hear you are away from that creep ! best wishes Ali

[Soul Fire]

Thank you :D so much

[Soul Fire]

I'm making a poem series about this relationship it's a book called ''Revenge.'' check it out :)

[Ali]

will do :)

[Soul Fire]

Thank you :D

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the story in the poem. I did like the ending. Good to escape a mess before it become worst. Nice flow of thoughts leading to a excellent ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Soul Fire]

Thank you.

[Relic]

Well, your first six stanzas were perfect but unfortunately for me it all fell apart after that. Your forced rhymes and deviation from any meter as well as rhyme toward the end were too much. I can understand your emotions and your perception of getting rid of him, but lines like As if I were a pet canary. Our Relationship was pretty scary. OR You can go away.. Leave me alone. Take your s**t with you, Make it go away simply lack any imagination. I'm not putting you down in any way but I just think this could be better.

[Soul Fire]

Thank you.

[Soul Fire]

There are no words to describe what happened in that relationship that I was lucky to get out of...If only you knew...

[Relic]

I'm sure it must have been tough for you. It's good you got away from such a destructive relationship though. I'm sure you'll know what signs to look for so it never happens again.

[Soul Fire]

Can you read my new poem ''Chains.'' ? maybe you'll understand then..

[Soul Fire]

And thank you

[Relic]

I'll give it a look and get back to you.
You're welcome.

[Soul Fire]

Thank you.

[Sam]

Wow, what a great poem! I love it :3

100/100

[Soul Fire]

Thank you.

[AE]

Great poem! I love the way you wrote it.

100/100

[Soul Fire]

Thank you :D

[Destinyxi]

This is a (excuse my language) f*****g awesome poem. I went through something similar so I honestly just loved reading this. Thank god you dropped this guys sorry flat a*s. He wasn't worth it. I pity his next girl. She will be a fool to take him. But she will figure it out soon enough.

Keep on writing, I like your style :)

[Soul Fire]

Actually he dumped me and I laughed hysterically.He blames everything all on me.And he told everyone that he was the victim.he loves to play to victim card.I am so glad that I am away from that scumbag...He was never worth what he put me through...6 months together,can't believe I'm still alive! He moved on right away...He obviously never loved me.The funny thing is, I really did...And I was over him before It ended..I was waiting for it to crumble on its own.I had many things on my plate at the time,many decisions still do..Anyways I'm glad you got away from that loser :D
Thanks for the review!

[Destinyxi]

You're very welcome.

I was with my ex for 1 and a half years, I dumped his a*s. But just as you, I was over him way before it ended. It was a relief. I didn't shed not one tear for that guy. Waste of my time. He kept dragging on the relationship, no matter how bad it got, he didnt have the balls to dump me so I grew some and cut him out

[Soul Fire]

Awesome :D you go girl!