Dear Daddy

This is my explaination of what happened after Dad left...I was 11 when it happened

Daddy,

Where are you?

Where have you gone.

Why is Mommy crying?

What happened?

``Mommy what's wrong?''

What's going on,Daddy.

What's wrong with Mommy?

Daddy, why don't you live with us anymore?

Why is living with us like a chore to you?

Daddy,why did you take your bags and slam the door in my face?

Daddy,I want you to come back!

Daddy, why do you hurt me so much?

I thought you loved me?

Do you love me anymore?

I guess not.

Boy,

Boy,

Cute Boy,

Do you love me?

``No.''

Boy, why don't you like me?

Boy, Boy, Don't you like me?

Aren't I pretty?

``Not really.''

Boy, Boy why do you hurt me?

Aren't boys supposed to love girls?

Why can't you love me?

Other boy,Other Boy,

Why do you use me as a toy?

Why can't you love me like Daddy did?

All I want is to be loved and wanted?

Why do you use and abuse me?

That's not okay!

Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!

Where are you?

Why can't you love me the way I thought you did?

Wheres the Daddy that'd play Barbies with me,and push me on the swings?

Why do I search for this from these boys,and these kids?

Daddy,I'm lonely.

I need a hug.

Daddy,Where are you?

Can't you help me?

Why aren't you here?

Daddy,why are you with your friends and not with me?

Daddy, why do you choose beers over Liam and I?

Daddy,I just wanna cry.

Daddy,I'm sad.

I'm depressed,

I just want to die.

Maybe then you'd realize what you did to me.

Nobody wants a little girl like me.

Especially you..

You left me,Liam and Mommy...

Choose your beers over the love we had for each other.

Daddy,you broke me to pieces....

I search for your missing love from boys.

And they don't have what I want.

So they use,

abuse,

and toy with me.

Daddy,can't you see?

What your leaving has done to me?

I am broken,

unwanted,

unneeded.

unloved.

Especially by you.

If you really don't want to be with Mom.

Why did you marry her?

Why did you bother?

Why didn't you stay single and committed to your whorish ways?

Why did you bother staying with Mommy,

and having Liam and me?

You scarred me for life.

I almost cut myself with the knife,

more than once.

Because no one loves me anymore.

Especially you,Daddy.

I guess it's too much of a chore.

Why did you leave?

When you told Liam and I,

you said it was ``Temporary.''

It's been 3 years

A million uncounted tears.

I guess you're full of it.

What happened to ``Temporary''?

I guess it was all just bullshit.

You know,

You loving Mom,Liam and I...

You've moved on.

Well down the street...

It's weird having you as a neighbour.

Here's my neighbourhood tour,

My house,and the house of the man who left me behind.

I can see your car in the driveway

``Should I tee pee the house?''

``Ransack your car?''

``Break in your house?''

You wouldn't care.

You think I'm as weak as a mouse.

Here's the pain I have gone through,

and It's all you fault.

Can't you see,Daddy?

Open your eyes.

This is what you've done to me.

Your little girl,

the one you held in the hospital 15 years ago,

Has hurt more than you'll ever know,

and it's all because of you.

I guess ``Sorry.'' is not a word in your dictionary or I have failed to hear it.

You've never apologized for every uncounted tear.

Daddy,

when you left,

Mommy became broken and torn.

She crying more than I've ever seen her cry before.

Liam didn't understand what was happening.

Do you realize how hard it was to tell him?

or at least try to explain...

I still don't understand what happened.

I was too busy crying and making rain.

Daddy,

Mommy could no longer move,her only destination was to cry.

Mommy, wanted to die.

I stopped her.

Daddy,

I had to become Mommy,

'Cause Mommy was to weak to go on.

I did the laundry,

made the meals and everything.

I guess you don't care.

I know your secrets Dad.

Your little diary is open for my eyes to see.

I guess you hated being married,

and raising me.

Reviews

[Blissful Sin]

I had a similar situation…. It was really hard but since I was so young I didn't understand it completely; and for that I became even more mature and dejected for my age, I started looking more to the bad sides of life and not believing that there are many good times in life. That was a mistake because now that I'm older I still can’t shake off that pessimistic side of me.
When my father left it was really hard on the whole family, especially my mother and me. After we all had a long time apart he came back and we all tried to start over, but again soon after that he left again. I wasn't surprised but he did come back for a final time and since then, it’s been a lot better.
I don't have a strong relationship with my father and now I rather not be with him most of the time, but I still try my hardest to be with him and make his days full of joy as much as I can. It was the least I could do for everyone else.
I'm really sorry about your experience and I know it isn't the best thing in the world, but you have to be strong, worst things are bound to happen and you can’t just cry out your eyes and hope for it to stop. Sometimes you just have to look at life straight in the eyes and punch it in the face, show it that you’re more than what it makes of you. I know how you feel and it is devastating but I’m sure that you are the tough girl that you are and that you won’t stand when someone else plans to mess up your life. I’m not trying to be mean or unaffectionate, and I’m sorry if I sound like it but I just wanted to give you some advice from a fellow under stander. Good luck and I’m sure that you’ll get through this well!!

-Emotional Bliss

[Soul Fire]

Thanks Bliss! And this was four years ago and the bs is continuing.... thanks for the advice. Everything's been okay, until summertime or holidays or at random for the last four years..right now they're in the process of getting a divorce...my father is complaining he doesnt have any money meanwhile hes paying for car parts for a female friend (because her breaks were not working and he was afraid shed get in an accident and her kids would end up with their abusive father.Which I understand would suck, but why did he make it his problem...when he has OWN kids in a van that needs serious repairs or needs to be replaced.) who is obviously his girlfriend but he claims shes just a friend. meanwhile.. our van is falling apart and because of him and his desire to no longer have the ownership/car insurance in his name. My mom cannot afford to pay for it, so now we no longer have a vechicle to drive.

[Blissful Sin]

:'( it's really hard to go through but I'm sure we can make it a lot better! I'm really glad that we touched bases and that I helped out.
I'm sure that everyone on writers cafe would love to help you out with any further problems!
-Bliss

[Soul Fire]

tthanks very much

[Jasmine Thurber]

So sad.... but a really great poem! My dad left my mom but i dont know why he still visits us everyday when he has a girlfriend a baby..

[Soul Fire]

Hello Jasmine, thank you for the review. I'm sorry about your dad. :/ That must be really hard and complicated.

[Balkaran Sidhu]

ah so heart touching...so sad...poignant write...I wish no kid ever has to go through all this

[Soul Fire]

Thank you for your review. And sadly, I went through this. This is the most descriptive way of explaining what happened that day.

[Jasmine Thurber]

You did?! Im sooo sorry... i fell sorry for you... :[

[Soul Fire]

Yeah, I went through this

[Fuzzy_Poluzah]

That was powerful, but do you mind if I suggest a few things?

Don't try to force rhyme, it can take away from the poem and it sounds like a glitch when you read it out loud. Especially, such a long poem , and such an emotional/personal one. You want to vent, or rant, or just let something out, don't let a rhyme scheme stop you.

Other than that, it was beautiful. It was moving. An amazing write, so don't stop doing it.

~ Fuzzy

[Soul Fire]

Thank you very much fuzzy, :)

[Soul Fire]

Thank you very much for your review and your advice. :) When I wrote this, on the spot, I was crying my eyes out and didn't care about anything. I just wanted to express myself and share my story. Thank you again for your advice and review :D

[♪Barklight♪]

This is sad, please dont feel that way its not your fault X( *huggels*

[Soul Fire]

thank you Barklight. I dont blame myself anymore.But hes continuing this bs.... and its horridn

[♪Barklight♪]

Thats good ^^
-_- meanie

[Katerina Felinova]

So, I just found out how to know if I have a read request...and holy crap! I was so surprised we had a poem with the same name!! And of course...I feel your pain here. This made my heart very sad. I am sorry you had to go through something like this at a young age... I feel as though the denial of a fathers love to a daughter is one of the cruelest, harshest things someone could go through. Thank you so much for sharing this poem with me..

--Kat

[Soul Fire]

thank.you very much Katerina

[Craba]

Full of grief and sadness. My dad died when i was 9. I wished we were still here.

[Soul Fire]

oh, I'm sorry for your loss... my Dad left my mother 3 years ago...

[Craba]

I'm sorry

[Soul Fire]

It's okay. They're organizing legal stuff now,eventually getting a divorce

[MissEpic2902]

Please don't feel like that! It was his fault not your's!!

[Soul Fire]

Thank you!

[MissEpic2902]

You're welcome Raya!

[AE]

This poem was great... in a way. It filled me with grief, fire, anger, sadness. The man who left your life was an important part of the equation of raising a child. Now... it caused ruin to come upon the rest of the family. (If I were you, I wouldn't have put this on the internet. That's just me. I can't tell any body on the internet my situation or my life will turn upside down.)

GREAT POEM!
100/100

[Soul Fire]

Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed it! Yeah, I get what you mean, but if I hadn't of expressed myself on here, or through writing. I'd surely be overwhelmed with sadness. This here, was my feelings and emotions of my parents' separation through the perspective of my eleven year old self.

[Perri]

I guess your full of it---should be you're not your.
And landry should be laundry.
BUT, otherwise I enjoyed it. Was pretty much the stereotypical father-leaving scenario story, but it was a pretty good one as far as they're concerned =]
Thanks for sharing, it must be hard for to cope with =/

[Soul Fire]

Thanks alot, and yeah it is...