crumbling

Burning soul…
heart ablaze…

Twisted thoughts… 
a broken maze…

No more turns my twisted fate…
forever forgotten…
forever in pain.

No more windows into my soul…
they've all been darkened…
locked to the world.

No more thoughts in my mind…
they all got lost in the far beyond.

No more words left to say…
my world is crumbling.

Reviews

[MomzillaNC]

Such a sense of plunging loss…

I recommend the lines be broken thusly for more visual impact:
Burning soul…
heart ablaze…

Twisted thoughts…
a broken maze…

No more turns my twisted fate…
forever forgotten…
forever in pain.

No more windows into my soul…
they've all been darkened…
locked to the world.

No more thoughts in my mind…
they all got lost in the far beyond.

No more words left to say…
my world is crumbling.

Whats left to say?

[RayXor]

thank you very much I'll do that. :)

[MomzillaNC]

You're very welcome. Glad I could be of help.

[MomzillaNC]

BTW, I thought it was extremely effective to end with the question, "What's left to say?" That was a powerful denouement!

[olla]

I like raw poetry... you do it well..

[RayXor]

sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. thank you for the support :)

[Baby Ricochet]

With all the world crumbling like s****y pie crust. Love the first four lines. It's cool if you whisper them fast.

[Rob Santana]

"Twisted thoughts a broken maze" sick words you've put together. Although our mind and thoughts are confined to our skulls we all can easily get lost outside of our soul. Lost forever. Well done.

[RayXor]

its amazing where a thought can lead sometimes