Depression

Depression always seems to make me feel
Like a slow and defenseless timid baby seal
Depression is like the hunter who sets a giant steel trap
That will hurt what it catches from the sound of its snap

Why must I have this damn depression?
That deprives my body of all motivation
Doctors these days are like science’s drug dealers
When they give you prescriptions that they claim to be healers

I don’t know how much more of this I can take
Because when I get up every morning my body will ache
My bones sound crackly when I walk on the floor
That’s not supposed to happen to someone at the age of 24

Yet I feel so old like my body could shatter
If I were to die today it probably wouldn’t matter
I think I might as well be better off dead
Because I spend most of my days just lying in bed

I just lie there, with a pasty mouth and a body that maggots might soon devour
Because I don’t want to brush my teeth or even take a shower
While in bed I feel how depression’s “sabotage” is the one thing it loves to share
As it makes me place my job and loved ones under a category of, “I don’t care”

I just don’t have the will to get up, especially in the morning
Because I feel like the new day will just be dull and boring
Sometimes I feel like I won’t get up at all
Because I hate to feel down, so tiny and small

The people I know think they are being kind
When they tell me to get this out of my mind
My parents don’t seem to fully understand
The feeling of sinking, as if pulled by quicksand

Depression is truthful and has nothing to hide
And it shows this to me when I think of suicide
Many have fallen from depression’s last level
And are suffering right now in the hands of the devil

Depression decreases my vitality much like time withers a flower
But it also summons up my greatest strongest power
Depression is at my job and it turns my solid thoughts into an unusable goo
I then overwork myself with anger, making people think that I’m great at what I do

Depression gives me an energy so filled with rage
But I turn it into something creative as we engage
Depression enabled my eyes to see
That instead of killing my mind it was setting it too wild and free

Yes, depression did make little problems look giant
But once I beat them I felt much more bold and defiant
There were days that I virtually saw myself crumble
But I was sculpted into someone who is now caring, and humble

I don’t know why depression makes me feel like life has no meaning
But it brought out a different side to me that I had trouble revealing
Depression put a pen in my hand and made it fit like a piece in a puzzle
As it spared me when I put that pen to my temple, instead of a gun’s muzzle

Author's Note

We have all felt depressed at some point in life. Some have been extremely depressed while others have only just been mildly depressed. Either way you look at it, depression is something very serious. But, how serious is it when you face it head on, your heart wide open with no prescriptions or psychological assistance? This poem explains my experience with it as I broke out of it, captured it, and managed to manipulate it so that it could work in my favor. There is no doubt that depression makes us negative, but, for me it allows me to become extremely creative. When you are negative, you attract more negativity, but if you face it you'll realize that any amount of negativity multiplied by any other amount of negativity (like in math) will always equal a positive.