TAKE THE DAMN RISK

This was based on a low point in my life and I needed to believe in myself.

"Come on you can do it! 
You can take the leap,
You can jump!
Trust in faith,
Trust in yourself,
You can do it!
It's worth the risk"

These phrases keep on running through my mind on an endless track.

"Take the damn risk! What do you got to lose?"

I chuckle bitterly at this,
"What do I got to lose?" 
Well Ms Brain, a lot actually.

"Really name them so me,"

Well, my pride, my self esteem, ummmm....

"Keep it coming,"

Don't use that tone with me!

"I'm so sorry for the attitude but your excuses are so lame that I couldn't help myself,"

You know you're very rude right.

"Tell me something I don't know," 
"Hey don't roll your eyes at me!"

Whatever,
Why are we even having this conversation?

"Why? Because you need to have faith in yourself,"

So?

"So? So! So you need to believe in yourself,
You are so good at what you do,
But you just don't believe and it painful watching you in this slum."

I'm so sorry for causing you pain.

"Don't scoff at me. I'm being serious here.
You need to realize that nothing in life comes without taking a risk,
You did it to get into university, to get into high school, 
So what's the difference now?"

THE DIFFERENCE YOU WANT THE BLOODY DIFFERENCE,
WELL I'M GOING UP AGAINST PEOPLE WHO SHARE THE SAME PASSION AS ME,
PERSONS THAT HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE UNDER THEIR BELT, 
THEY HAVE MORE FOLLOWERS, THEY GET A LOT OF FEEDBACK,
THEY ARE JUST BETTER THAN ME OKAY,
SO WHY MUST I PUT MY HEART OUT THERE JUST TO GET CRUSHED,
AND BE TOLD THAT I'M NO GOOD.
SO TELL ME WHY SHOULD I RISK IT ALL?

".........."

Huh, that's a first 
The all knowing brain has nothing to say,
I thought as much.

"Hahahahahaha"

Are you laughing at me?
How dare you laugh when I just told you how I felt?

"I'm truly sorry but your response was utter nonsense,
Hahahahahaha!"

WHY YOU LITTLE......

"NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME,
DON'T EVER  COMPARE YOURSELF TO SOMEONE ELSE,
SURE THEY HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE BUT THEY ALL WENT THROUGH WHAT YOU FEEL BUT YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEY DID THAT YOU DIDN'T?"

WHAT?

"THEY TOOK THE DAMN RISK!
YES YOU CAN LOSE YOUR PRIDE BUT SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO BE HUMBLED,
YOUR SELF ESTEEM WILL BE TARGETED BUT YOU GOTTA LEARN THAT ONCE YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR SELF AND YOUR WORKS THEN IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT PEOPLE SAY,
ALSO YOU'LL DEVELOP SOME TOUGH SKIN"

...........

"Look who's silent now"

Don't smirk at me!

"Sweetheart, I could do whatever I want because I'm you, 
I'm your hope, your faith, your belief in yourself."

But what if.....

"Who gives a flying rat's butt about being good enough,
Didn't you see what you wrote in the previous chapter?
Why can't you understand that it doesn't matter if you get a lot of people to see your work? You don't care about money or fame.
You write because you love to and you know that you're not going to stop anytime now."

"Having fans is a bonus, you are happy knowing that your works are out there, so who cares if it takes time to be recognized, who cares if people don't like what you do,
At the end of the day you want to do what you love and you feel empty and sad if you don't"

That's true.

"So this is why you should take the risk,
Cuz writing makes you happy even if it's not seen by a lot, 
Also how do you really expect to be recognized if you don't take a leap of faith?"

SO TAKE THE DAMN RISK!