Drowning

This is about what i am feeling when because of heartbreak and abandonment

I feel like i am at war in my head.

Theses thoughts wont let me rest in my grave.

I cant feel at peace when i am alone.

My thoughts of you is wanting to walk away but i want to run into your arms.

Theses thoughts wont let me rest.

I can get through the day without thinking of a solution. 

I need my savior to save me because theses thoughts wont let me be.

I need a priest to exercise theses demons out of me.

they need to leave me alone.

I am at war with myself because its telling me to walk away but i cant.

I want to run to you but I know I shouldn't

I need you and you need. 

but I need to walk away because I feel torn.

you are a paper cut that is so big on my hand it wont go away.

it stings every time i touch it.

I am at war in my head with theses suicidal thoughts.

they wont leave me to rest.

I need a savior to save me.

 I need a persist to exercise theses demons out of me.

I feel like I am in the ocean and I am drowning in theses thoughts.

I choke on them when I think of you.

you are the war in my head.

the thoughts say "leave him!!! know your worth!!! he is not good for you!!!! he does not deserve you!!! walk away from that piece of trash" then theses are the thoughts in my mind "work things out with him!!! he cares about you!!! he wants you!!!! he wants to make you happy!!!! he does not want to lose you!!! he needs you!!! dont break that promise!!!! stay by his side!!!! he loves you!!!" after hearing that I feel like I dont know what to chose. 

one is saying know your worth the other saying no let him in and be there for you!!!.

this is what going in my head and its hard to stop this conflict I have inside of me.

I need to swim to the surface and breath!!!! 

but I cant because I feel like I keep drowning over and over again.

its never ending cycle.

it wont stop.

so that's why  I am in the ocean drowning in the ocean fighting to get air.