Pain's Decayed Teeth

Armageddon has claimed another time and another place.  Minions patrol endless corridors in hope of happening upon a creature whose flesh is easily consumed.  Shortly there will not be any of them left to call human.  This is the goal.  Of course there are survivors.  Any good end comes from a fight for survival.  Empty hope drives these pitiful delusions into fantasy.  Reality always pulls them back though.

 Deep in the abyss named humanity there are secret caves where fiends manifest for the simple reason of existing.  These fiends are known as human desire, greed and gluttony.  It has taken mostly physical form however.  A craving for nude flesh controls their instincts and wants.  Never before has a species been more useless.  Instead of focusing on evolving they are hypnotized by bodies writhing in pleasure.  Male and female connections are what holds them to lust’s lie.  But none of this will ever garner anything except criticism because the truth of the matter is lust rules them.

So they are victims of their own mindless culture.  Therefore they deserve this war.  They deserve Armageddon.  It has never been more apparent.  And they believe they are important.  They believe they have souls.  How pathetic can a supposed intelligent creature be?  They will never change.  They will never want to change.  What they don’t realize is they were an accident never meant to happen.

Teach them divine knowledge not meant for humans. Bring down the “stolen mysteries”. Give the humans weapons, which they use to kill each other. Teach other sinful actions such as beautification techniques, alchemy, astrology and how to make medicine.  The ache pulls a tight band around my head. I want it to end. I want it all to end and no longer plague me. I have moments where sanity is blurred and the walls bleed. My innards step deeper into hell with every breath.  Hollow are these wires coursing through my skull. So much endless sorrow breeds from my fingertips as I continue to click away. I no longer wish to gaze upon man with eyes soiled and useless, yet I cannot remove them. I cannot be blind to what has already soaked me with reality.

If there is a hell…I am in it. I know this now as I knew it then. There is no remorse from malicious despair. Horror must never again write me love letters. I refuse to succumb to its morbid charms.  I am a monster within. How much longer can I suppress this hazard? I cannot subject harm to the heroes. But I can feel it coming. The other is near and if I don’t fight I discern morbid possibilities.

Humans are arrogant creatures. We assume to know or not know certain happenings with gross beliefs that divide us and ultimately cloak our ignorance with assuring lies. Perhaps our not knowing is a blessing but of course it can very well be our downfall since it is in our nature to comfort our oddities and enforce religious beliefs even though they clash with others and make deathly enemies in the process.  Perhaps no mortal man has the answers. After all mortal man is limited in his thought and abilities.

These thoughts are poisoned.   I cannot help but long for something to explain the unexplained. I fashion myself a grand illusion, but when the smoke clears all I am left with is the seeds of denial and perhaps hope. I might as well plant them and see what sprouts through the soil of possibility. Such would make for an open avenue I might explore heavily. Still I deposit myself here in this hard wood chair, listen to life and my own fingers crack as my knuckles press against my chin.

Fabrication is man's greatest invention. It doesn't stand alone. Sorrowful are these words as I allow them entry into an already hollow landmark. Though one direction has many hands to guide me through its twist and turns I have to wonder if it leads anywhere. Suppose there is no infinite time and space. Suppose there is nothing beyond this physical shell. What is the point to life if all we do is die?

I listen to the side of the atheist. I listen to the side of the Christian. Then there are the other various religions with their bibles and doctrines. Not all of them can be right. But then does that mean any of them are wrong?  In my dilemma I am again taken by the fact I am not meant to understand, perhaps can't understand. After all I am limited.   Is it so hard to fathom dimensions beyond our own?

Emotions hinder human progress. I cannot measure this with instruments forged by man. In all honesty and perhaps this is my arrogance, as humans are an arrogant animal, I submerge myself in the same denial as many before me; build a foundation based on paranoia and the need to understand the universe.  Science pushes the notion that "god" is a figment of human imagination, a subject of which we hold onto in order to caress control over future events, and so why is it so hard for these so called "wise men" to admit they cannot for certain explain the universe, if it has a parent or creator or if we are part of a natural order to the likes that no mortal intelligence can salvage as are conscious is severely stunted. 

I confuse myself, but like many others I want to know. I want to learn. But perhaps there is no comfort in knowing because maybe the truth is devastating.

Nimbus appendages extended and enveloped me. Instantly sensation awakened, coursed through endless channels of sight, sound and physical necessity. However a blockade emerged from reality's corner.  But the nimbus is beautiful and soft. Youth returns with the rush of excitement. If only I wasn't restrained to mortal obligation…. But my heart won't lie.

From agony's depths leapt shadows. Formless pockets bleed across my cosmos and again thoughts submerged in a ceaseless sea of pain and misery. Tragedy has aged me.  Could I just for a while pretend as though illness doesn't exist? Summoned courage eventually lay expired upon limitation's breast. Still I lingered at the corner of doubt and disbelief.