If I Were Honest...

If I were honest, I would tell you…

            I’m a coward,

           I’m afraid of what I think, feel, and do.

 

If I were honest, I would tell you…

            I care more about you than I should,

            I care more about you than I want to,

            I care more about you than I have a right to.

 

If I were honest, I would tell you…

            I want you to hold me,

                                  save me,

                                  protect me,

                                  love me.

           

If I were honest, I would tell you…

             I hate myself for wanting you.

 

If I were honest, I would tell you…

            I want you to hurt me,

                                  punish me,

                                  torture me,

                                  hate me,

 

            So I could hate you, too.

 

If I were honest, I would tell you.