I can't

I can't

A Story by Rassoul
"

A message to be seen.

"
I can’t.

Hi, it’s me again..
I’m just checking up on you, are you okay? Your days are getting better? Are you having your meals? Sleeping well? 
I hope you’re doing okay, because I’m not.
My days kinda feel numb lately, they’re so empty, and the routine is killing me. I spend every night thinking about us, about what we had, about what we planned, about how we used to be so good together, we were amazing.
We kinda missed our track, we ruined our journey. Why? I have no idea..
I don’t have an answer to that question, All I know it that I messed up, but so you did.
I overthink every night, to realize the real reason behind our separate. I just can’t find a clear one. The only thing that I’m sure of right now is that I’m so in love with you. 
I’m not so good with words, not so good on defending myself when you face me with my problems, not so good in a lot of things, but I’m good of taking care of the things I love, and I love you the most, out of all the things in this world, I love you most. Let that sink in.

I can’t keep up with my days like that, 
I can’t stay sad like that,
I can’t force my heart to stop beating so fast whenever I think about you,
I can’t force myself to stop thinking about you,
I can’t tell you how miserable I am right now,
I just can’t, I can’t live a life without you.
I can’t.

© 2023 Rassoul


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Reviews

When love almost killed us. We must get up and go forward. I felt the need, I felt the sadness in the words. Thank you Rassoul for sharing powerful and worthwhile story.
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Posted 10 Months Ago


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1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

What can this mean to the reader who knows nothing about you; knows nothing about the situation you're reacting to; knows nothing about the one being addressed or the writer; and, can't respond.

In approach, this is what's often called a "dismal damsel letter," and missives like it flood the pages of high school lit magazines, written by those who are experiencing serious relationship issues — often for the first time.

Good therapy for the one writing it, perhaps, but, what's in it for the reader? Someone they know nothing about is complaining to someone not introduced, in regard to undefined actions taken for unknown reasons.

My point? What can the reader do but shrug and turn away? Thay came for entertainment, to be made to care and feel, not learn what's on your mind.

So, instead of telling the reader how YOU feel, make the reader feel, and care. The nonfiction skills we're given in school are designed to talk TO the reader. They're designed to provide information. But the emotion-based skills of poetry provide an emotional experience for the reader. Our readers don't care how we're feeling, they want you to make them feel. That want words that evoke emotion in them. And to do that takes a skill not given us in school, because their task is to ready us for employment, and employers want reports — which your poems tend to be, because you're still using your school-day writing skills.

Grab a copy of Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook from the site below. The lady is brilliant, and the book is filled with gems and insights.
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Posted 11 Months Ago



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89 Views
3 Reviews
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Added on December 23, 2023
Last Updated on December 23, 2023
Tags: relationship, love, story, apologize

Author

Rassoul
Rassoul

Cairo, Egypt



About
I write to survive, I write to satisfy the devil inside. Omar Ashraf who also known as Rassoul. more..

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